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The bar graph illustrates the number of students in an average class at different ages (9 and 13) in 4 different countries as well as the global average.

The bar graph illustrates the number of students in an average class at different ages (9 and 13) in 4 different countries as well as the global average. nXo6o
The bar graph illustrates the number of students in an average class at different ages (9 and 13) in 4 different countries as well as the global average. The most striking point is that in all countries, as well as the global average, the number of children in a class of 9 years olds is always higher than class sizes for those aged 13, with the exception of Japan, where there are approximately 35 13 years old per class. It is clearly shown that Japan and Hong Kong both have the highest number of pupils in each class, with figures never falling below approximately 31 students per class. Specifically, Hong Kong had 35 children per class at age 9 while Japan only had 31 students. However, at the age 13, Japan had an increase to about 34 but the number of that in Hong Kong dropped to 31 students per class. In contrast, Russia had the fewest children with slightly over ten per class. Moreover, The United States is notable for being almost identical to the global average, with roughly 23 pupils in the younger class and approximately 18 in the older class.
The bar graph illustrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in an average
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ages (9 and 13) in 4
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries
as well
as the global average.

The most striking point is that in all countries,
as well
as the global average, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of children in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
of 9 years olds is always higher than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
sizes for those aged 13,
Consider using "except" or "except for"
with the exception of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
, where there are approximately 35 13 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
per
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.

It is
clearly
shown that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
and Hong Kong both have the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of pupils in each
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, with figures never falling below approximately 31
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
per
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
Specifically
, Hong Kong had 35 children per
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
at age 9 while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
had 31
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
However
, at the age 13,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
had an increase to about 34
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of that in Hong Kong dropped to 31
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
per
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.

In contrast
, Russia had the fewest children with
slightly
over ten per
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
Moreover
, The United States is notable for being almost identical to the global average, with roughly 23 pupils in the younger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and approximately 18 in the older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
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IELTS academic The bar graph illustrates the number of students in an average class at different ages (9 and 13) in 4 different countries as well as the global average.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
193 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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