Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The bar graph illustrates ,the figure of Japanese travelers visiting in foreign lands during 1985 and 1995 while the line graph delineate the percentage of tourists, who visited Australia in particular between 1985 and 1994.

The bar graph illustrates, the figure of Japanese travelers visiting in foreign lands during 1985 and 1995 while the line graph delineate the percentage of tourists, who visited Australia in particular between 1985 and 1994. PEkOp
The bar graph illustrates, the figure of Japanese travelers visiting in foreign lands during 1985 and 1995 while the line graph delineate the percentage of tourists, who visited Australia in particular between 1985 and 1994. It can seem that, around 5 millions Japanese citizen travelled different countries in 1985, which kept increased each year except 1991. From approximately 7 million visitors to abroad in the year 1987. However a sharp surge noticed in 1994 which is double then past decades. Although, In the year 1995 the number of holidaymakers reached at peak 15 millions which is three time higher than last over 10 years. The line graph shows that 2% Japanese people visited in Australia for 1985 which rose significantly near by 5% in 1988 however in the next year shown a fall in the tourist business which was 4%. Moreover, Australia received more than 6% Japanese Travellers in 1993 the highest which stood at exactly 6% in 1994. overall the number of tourists travelling foreign country grown rapidly over a span of 11 years also Australia tourist market increased dramatically.
The bar graph illustrates, the figure of Japanese travelers visiting in foreign lands during 1985 and 1995 while the line graph delineate the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
, who visited Australia
in particular
between 1985 and 1994.

It can seem that, around 5 millions Japanese citizen travelled
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries in 1985, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
increased each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
except 1991. From approximately 7 million visitors to abroad in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1987.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
a sharp surge noticed in 1994 which is double then past decades.

“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1995 the number of holidaymakers reached at peak 15 millions which is three time higher than last over 10 years.

The line graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that 2% Japanese
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
visited in Australia for 1985 which rose
significantly
Did you mean "nearby"?
near by
5% in 1988
however
in the
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
shown a fall in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
business which was 4%.

Moreover
, Australia received more than 6% Japanese
Possible spelling mistake found.
Travellers
in 1993 the highest which stood at exactly 6% in 1994.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
overall
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
travelling foreign country grown
rapidly
over a span of 11 years
also
Australia
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
market increased
dramatically
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic The bar graph illustrates, the figure of Japanese travelers visiting in foreign lands during 1985 and 1995 while the line graph delineate the percentage of tourists, who visited Australia in particular between 1985 and 1994.

Academic
  American English
6 paragraphs
181 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 6band
    Top internet perchase categories by countries
    The bar chart illustrates the amount of money spent on five consumer goods (car, computers, books, perfume and cameras) in France and the UK in 2010. Units are measured in pounds sterling. Overall, the UK spent more money on consumer goods than France in the period given. Both the British and the F...
  • 6band
    The tables show the average number of students taught by each lecturer in Australian universities from 1991 to 2007.
    Provided are the figures illustrating the average number of students instructed by each lecturer in Australia during the period from 1991 to 2007. It is evident from the information supplied in the first table that the average student population taught by one professor in Australian universities ha...
  • 6.5band
    the chart below the daily oil production in 4 countries in 4 year.
    The provided chart depicts the daily production of oil in Nigeria, Chad, Congo and Somalia during the period of 5 years since 2000, using barrels as a unit. According to the data, it could be seen that oil production in all the country was climbe, except Congo and Chad was the country using oil lat...
  • 7band
    pie chart of energy use in Australia
    Given is the pie chart providing us with information regarding the domestic consumption of energy in Australia in the median and how much fumes like CO2 they produce. Overall, it is starkly apparent that the most usage of energy is for heating systems, while water heating owes the biggest proportio...
  • 5band
    Energy is used in an average household.
    glance at the charts provided reveal some information on energy consumption by Australian families and amount of greenhouse gas emission spread, because of energy use. Although heating uses more than other energy items 42 percent. It emits only 15 percen here in house. On the other hand, cooling, a...
  • 6band
    summarise the line graph
    The line graph depicts the number of books of four genres lent by a library in the year 2015. From the following graph, we can clearly point out that non-fiction and biography were the most popular among students, around 50-55 books were lent during the months of October and December. An amazing th...





Get more results for topic:
  • The bar graph illustrates ,the figure of Japanese travelers visiting in foreign lands during 1985 and 1995 while the line graph delineate the percentage of tourists, who visited Australia in particular between 1985 and 1994.