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The bar graph illustrates the amount of money spent on five consumer goods

The bar graph illustrates the amount of money spent on five consumer goods 3MPjw
The bar graph illustrates the amount of money spent on five consumer goods (cars, computers, books, perfume, and cameras) in France and the UK in 2010. The units have been measured in pounds sterling. Overall, the UK spent more money on consumer goods than France in the given period of time. Both the British and the French spent most of their money on cars whereas the least amount of money was spent on perfume in the UK compared to cameras in France. Moreover, the most significant difference in expenditure between the two countries was on cameras. In terms of cars, people in the UK spent about 4, 50, 000 as opposed to people in France at 4, 00, 000. Similarly, the British expenditure was higher on books than the French (around 4, 00, 000 and 3, 00, 000 respectively). Furthermore, expenditure on cameras (just over 3, 50, 000) was over double that of France, which was only 1, 50, 000. On the other hand, the amount of money paid on the remaining goods was higher in France. Above 3, 50, 000 was spent by the French on computers which was slightly higher than the British who spent 3, 50, 000. Both the countries spent very less on the perfumes which accounted for 2, 00, 000 in France and under 1, 50, 000 in the UK.
The bar graph illustrates the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on five consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
(cars, computers, books, perfume, and cameras) in France and the UK in 2010. The units have
been measured
in pounds sterling.

Overall
, the UK
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spent
more
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money
on consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
than France in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period of time. Both the British and the French
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spent
most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on cars whereas the least amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on perfume in the UK compared to cameras in France.
Moreover
, the most significant difference in expenditure between the two countries was on cameras.

In terms of cars,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the UK
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
about 4, 50, 000 as opposed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in France at 4, 00, 000.
Similarly
, the British expenditure was higher on books than the French (around 4, 00, 000 and 3, 00, 000
respectively
).
Furthermore
, expenditure on cameras (
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 3, 50, 000) was over double that of France, which was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
1, 50, 000.

On the other hand
, the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
paid on the remaining
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
was higher in France. Above 3, 50, 000 was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
by the French on computers which was
slightly
higher than the British who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
3, 50, 000. Both the countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less on the perfumes which accounted for 2, 00, 000 in France and under 1, 50, 000 in the UK.

IELTS academic The bar graph illustrates the amount of money spent on five consumer goods

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
225 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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