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The bar graph gives information about the proportion of international students and UK students achieving second class degrees or better at a university in the UK in seven subjects.

The bar graph gives information about the proportion of international students and UK students achieving second class degrees or better at a university in the UK in seven subjects. Ygr8d
The bar graph gives information about the proportion of international students and UK students achieving second class degrees or better at a university in the UK in seven subjects. Overall, international and UK students had different strengths when the studied in this British school. International students tended to dominate in Electrical Engineering and Information technology, at 80% and 88%, respectively. Especially, nearly twice as many foreign students in Information technology gaining second class degrees compared to British students in the same major. The opposite trend can be seen when we look at English Literature, Art history, International law, Sociology. Whereas about three quarters local students in these subjects achieved a good degree, the proportion of international students fluctuated between 60% and 70%. There is a noticeable point that International law was only major which the number of universal students was less than a half. Turning to remain sectors, we can see that there was a balanced rate between local and international students got their degree from nursing (roughly 76%) and accountancy (exactly 60%)
The bar graph gives information about the proportion of
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international
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students
and UK
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students
achieving second
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
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degrees
or better at a university in the UK in seven subjects.

Overall
,
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international
and UK
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
strengths when the studied in this British school.

International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
tended to dominate in Electrical Engineering and Information technology, at 80% and 88%,
respectively
.
Especially
,
nearly
twice as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in Information technology gaining second
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
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degrees
compared to British
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students
in the same major.

The opposite trend can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
when we look at English Literature, Art history,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
International
law, Sociology. Whereas about three quarters local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in these subjects achieved a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
, the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
fluctuated between 60% and 70%. There is a noticeable point that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
International
law was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
major which the number of universal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
was less than a half.

Turning to remain sectors, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that there was a balanced rate between local and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
from nursing (roughly 76%) and accountancy (exactly 60%)
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IELTS academic The bar graph gives information about the proportion of international students and UK students achieving second class degrees or better at a university in the UK in seven subjects.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
172 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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