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Journeys made by the passenger railways from 1950 to 2004

Journeys made by the passenger railways from 1950 to 2004 xDpyN
The presented graph gives data on the journeys made by the passenger railways by the national rail network, the London underground and Light rail and metro systems in Great Britain from 1950 to 2004/5. Overall, the highest number of journeys made by passenger railways are in the year 1958 when compared to the least number of journeys made by them in the year 1981. At the beginning of the year 1950, the national rail network started at 1, 000 Million journeys when compared to London underground with 750 Million journeys, also, a steady but significant rise in light rail and metro systems started in the year 1963 with 20 million. As years pass by, the National rail network shows a gradual fall in the journeys made by them and again started increasing in the year 1981 and reached 900 million journeys made by them by the year 2004/5. When compared with London underground it had a steady but significant rise in the number of journeys made by them and reached to 1, 100 million journeys by the year 2004/5. Also, Light rail and metro systems started journeys in the year 1962 with 20 million and reached to 200 million by the year 2004/5. To conclude, the data shows the National rail network has made a high number of journeys as compared to the London underground also more comparatively with light rail and metro systems.
The presented graph gives data on the
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journeys
made by the passenger railways by the
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national
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rail
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network
, the London
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underground
and
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Light
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rail
and
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metro
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systems
in Great Britain from 1950 to 2004/5.

Overall
, the highest
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number
of
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journeys
made by passenger railways are in the
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year
1958 when compared to the least
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number
of
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journeys
made by them in the
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year
1981.

At the beginning of the
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year
1950, the
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national
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rail
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network
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started
at 1, 000
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Million
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journeys
when compared to London
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underground
with 750
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Million
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journeys
,
also
, a steady
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but
significant rise in
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light
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rail
and
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metro
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systems
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started
in the
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year
1963 with 20
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million
. As years pass by, the
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National
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rail
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network
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shows
a gradual fall in the
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journeys
made by them and again
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started
increasing in the
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year
1981 and reached 900
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million
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journeys
made by them by the
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year
2004/5.

When compared with London
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underground
it had a steady
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but
significant rise in the
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number
of
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journeys
made by them and reached to 1, 100
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million
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journeys
by the
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year
2004/5.
Also
,
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Light
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rail
and
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metro
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systems
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started
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journeys
in the
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year
1962 with 20
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million
and reached to 200
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million
by the
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year
2004/5.

To conclude
, the data
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shows
the
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National
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rail
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network
has made a high
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number
of
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journeys
as compared to the London
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underground
also
more
comparatively
with
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light
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rail
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
metro
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
.
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IELTS academic Journeys made by the passenger railways from 1950 to 2004

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
234 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
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Task Achievement: 7.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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