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Annual water usage by industries

Annual water usage by industries WY3OW
The bar chart illustrates information about the amount of annual water by textiles, paper, chemicals, metal, macinery, food/drink and fuel. Overall, chemicals use the highest both public supply and ground water. Another interesting point is that, most industries exploit ground water more than public supply, except machinery and food/drink. Looking at the details, as regards chemicals, the figure of public supply is 240 millions, compared to ground water at 430 millions. By contrast, machinery use 100 millions of public supply, 90 millions higher than ground water. Similarly, food/drink use 190 millions the amount of public water while this industry only use 110 millions ground water. In addition, textiles and fuel use the same the amount of public supply, 10 millions, which is less than nine times that by metal. Moreover, ground water usage by metal is 240 millions whereas those by textiles and fuel are 80 millions and 70 millions respectively.
The bar chart illustrates information about the amount of annual
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water
by textiles, paper, chemicals, metal,
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macinery
, food/drink and fuel.
Overall
, chemicals
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use
the highest both
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public
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supply
and
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ground
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water
. Another interesting point is that, most industries exploit
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ground
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water
more than
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public
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supply
, except machinery and food/drink. Looking at the
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details
, as regards chemicals, the figure of
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public
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supply
is 240
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millions
, compared to
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ground
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water
at 430
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millions
. By contrast, machinery
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use
100
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millions
of
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public
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supply
, 90
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millions
higher than
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ground
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water
.
Similarly
, food/drink
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use
190
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millions
the amount of
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public
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water
while this industry
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only
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use
110
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millions
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ground
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water
.
In addition
, textiles and fuel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the same the amount of
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public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
supply
, 10
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millions
, which is less than nine times that by metal.
Moreover
,
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ground
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water
usage by metal is 240
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millions
whereas those by textiles and fuel are 80
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millions
and 70
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millions
respectively
.
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IELTS academic Annual water usage by industries

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
151 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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