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the bar graph depicts the spending on consumer items by France and the UK in 2010

the bar graph depicts the spending on consumer items by France and the UK in 2010 a73pV
in detail, cars were considered, it stood at 400, 000 pounds in France as aganist 450, 000 in the UK. moving to computers, France had slightly edge over the United Kingdom (380, 000 and 350, 000). however, the pound sterling of books were 300, 000 and 400, 000 in the case of France and UK, respectivelycoming to perfume, the figure of transfer 60000 Pounds more than the United Kingdom and accounting to 200, 000. In contrast, in the camera, there was a yawning gap between France and UK. it was registered to be 150, 000 and 350, 000. overall more expenditure was made by UK as compared to France. whereas, more interest was given to computer and perfume by France
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
detail, cars
were considered
, it stood at 400, 000 pounds in France as
Possible spelling mistake found.
aganist
450, 000 in the UK. moving to computers, France had
slightly
edge over the United Kingdom (380, 000 and 350, 000).
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
, the pound sterling of books were 300, 000 and 400, 000 in the case of France and UK,
Possible spelling mistake found.
respectivelycoming
to perfume, the figure of transfer 60000 Pounds more than the United Kingdom and accounting to 200, 000.
In contrast
, in the camera, there was a yawning gap between France and UK. it
was registered
to be 150, 000 and 350, 000.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
overall
more expenditure
was made
by UK as compared to France.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
whereas
, more interest was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to computer and perfume by France
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IELTS academic the bar graph depicts the spending on consumer items by France and the UK in 2010

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
119 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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