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The bar graph compares percentages of people living, within different region of UK in two periods {1988, 2010} who were working in shifts to earn a living. Overall, from the graph it clear that average ratio of part time workers in all nations of uk soar in 2010,

The bar graph compares percentages of people living, within different region of UK in two periods {1988, 2010} who were working in shifts to earn a living. Overall, from the graph it clear that average ratio of part time workers in all nations of uk soar in 2010, EdyPL
The bar graph compares percentages of people living, within different region of UK in two periods {1988, 2010} who were working in shifts to earn a living. Overall, from the graph it clear that average ratio of part time workers in all nations of uk soar in 2010, with the exception of Ireland, plus Wales reported utmost number of part timers in both periods. According to the graph, back in age of 1985, 25% of England population relied on part time jobs. This percentage further becomes 30% in 2019. Likewise England, in 2010 region of Scotland also recorded growth of workers by in small level jobs ratio of 2%. However, Ireland was the only nation which had the steady amount of part time workers. In both periods, more than 10% of people from whole Irish population were involved in some sort of assistant work. On the contrary, Wales in UK was the place with most causal workers. According to the data collected during 2019, nearly 31 % of Wales’s people reported to work part timely. Furthermore, after two decades, this very ratio extended to 35% approximately
The bar graph compares percentages of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living, within
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
region of UK in two periods {1988, 2010} who were working in shifts to earn a living.
Overall
, from the graph it
Did you mean "clears"?
clear
that average ratio of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
in all nations of
Possible spelling mistake found.
uk
soar in 2010,
Consider using "except" or "except for"
with the exception of
Ireland, plus Wales reported utmost number of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part timers
in both periods.

According to the graph, back in age of 1985, 25% of England population relied on
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
jobs. This percentage
further
becomes 30% in 2019.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Likewise
England, in 2010 region of Scotland
also
recorded growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
by in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
level jobs ratio of 2%.
However
, Ireland was the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
nation which had the steady amount of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
. In both periods, more than 10% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from whole Irish population
were involved
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sort of assistant work.

On the contrary
, Wales in UK was the place with most causal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
. According to the data collected during 2019,
nearly
31 % of Wales’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
reported to work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
timely.
Furthermore
, after two decades, this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
ratio extended to 35% approximately
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IELTS academic The bar graph compares percentages of people living, within different region of UK in two periods {1988, 2010} who were working in shifts to earn a living. Overall, from the graph it clear that average ratio of part time workers in all nations of uk soar in 2010,

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
185 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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