Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The bar graph below shows the top 10 destinations for Australian residents in the years 2000/2001 and 2010/2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features , and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar graph below shows the top 10 destinations for Australian residents in the years 2000/2001 and 2010/2011. 26XrM
The given bar graph illustrates ten countries (NZ, Indonesia, US, Thailand, UK, China, Fiji, Singapore, Malaysia, Hong Kong) that Australian people live between 2000/2001 and 2010/2011. It can be seen that in the years 2000/2001, the percentage of living ten nations is not normally. But in the years 2010/2011, the ratio of people live in these countries decrease more and more. First, in the years 2000/2001, NZ is one of the most country which Australian residents choose to live about 16%. Second, Indonesia, US, Thailand and UK are three countries which are dramatically. It means that its increase from Indonesia (9%) to US (10, 5%), it decreases from US to Thailand (5%) and goes up to UK (9%) respectively. Five countries (China, Fiji, Singapore, Malaysia and Hong Kong) are under 5%. Addcording to the years 2010/2011, NZ is one the most country which Australian people live like the years 2000/2001. Then, the proportion of Australian is going down from NZ (14%) to Hong Kong (3%) and Malaysia (3%) respectively. Thailand and UK are nations which have the same percentage is about 6, 5%.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graph illustrates ten
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
(NZ, Indonesia, US, Thailand, UK, China, Fiji, Singapore, Malaysia, Hong Kong) that Australian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
between 2000/2001 and 2010/2011.

It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that in the years 2000/2001, the percentage of living ten nations is not
normally
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in the years 2010/2011, the ratio of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
decrease more and more.

First
, in the years 2000/2001, NZ is one of the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
which Australian residents choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
about 16%. Second, Indonesia, US, Thailand and UK are three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which are
dramatically
. It means that its increase from Indonesia (9%) to US (10, 5%), it decreases from US to Thailand (5%) and goes up to UK (9%)
respectively
. Five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
(China, Fiji, Singapore, Malaysia and Hong Kong) are under 5%.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Addcording
to the years 2010/2011, NZ is
Did you mean "one of"?
one
the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
which Australian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
like the years 2000/2001. Then, the proportion of Australian is going down from NZ (14%) to Hong Kong (3%) and Malaysia (3%)
respectively
. Thailand and UK are nations which have the same percentage is about 6, 5%.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic The bar graph below shows the top 10 destinations for Australian residents in the years 2000/2001 and 2010/2011.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
183 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 6band
    The pie chart gives information about the country of birth
    The pie chart illustrates the information about the country of bith of people living in Austrilia and the table shows the informqtion about where they lives. In pie chart, it is observed that, about 73% of people choose to live in Austrilia where they born. In addition, about 7% of British people l...
  • 6.5band
    The table and pie charts show the values and sources of fish import to the U. S.
    The table enumerates the information about the expenditure of fish that were imported to America, while the pie charts illustrate the statistics about those nations who exported the fish to the United States in the three-year period. Additionally, units were measured in dollars as well as in percent...
  • 5band
    The pie chart gives the information about the country of birth in the Australia and the table shows the
    The pie illustrate about the country of birth people living in Australia and the table gives information about people born in these countries live. Firstly, the 73% of Australian people live in Australia. Secondly UK people live in Australia was 7%. Chinese was only 2% and Netherlands people was on...
  • 6.5band
    The diagram illustrated the production of clothes
    The diagram illustrated the production of clothes, using recycled plastic bottles as the input materials. Overall, plastic bottles undergo a 13-step process to become clothes. This whole process is categorized into 3 main stages of collecting, preparing, and processing stages, characterized with th...
  • 6band
    The given diagram shows the life cycle of salmon fish
    The life cycle illustrates various stages involved in the development of salmon fish. Initially, eggs are laid by an adult fish and the stage involved is known as incubation followed by the emergence of very small fishes who are reared in freshwater for small time period. After that it stays in estu...
  • 6.5band
    This map presents some challenges because there aren’t a ton of changes and the overview is a little bit tricky.
    The given maps depict how the transit accessibility of a city hospital has altered from 2007 to 2010. Overall, the three-year period saw changes to the to the road layout. The salient features of this alteration are the addition of two roundabouts, public parking facilities and a bus station. Acco...