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The bar graph below shows the top 10 destinations for Australian residents in the years 2000/2001 and 2010/2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features , and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar graph below shows the top 10 destinations for Australian residents in the years 2000/2001 and 2010/2011. 26XrM
The given bar graph illustrates ten countries (NZ, Indonesia, US, Thailand, UK, China, Fiji, Singapore, Malaysia, Hong Kong) that Australian people live between 2000/2001 and 2010/2011. It can be seen that in the years 2000/2001, the percentage of living ten nations is not normally. But in the years 2010/2011, the ratio of people live in these countries decrease more and more. First, in the years 2000/2001, NZ is one of the most country which Australian residents choose to live about 16%. Second, Indonesia, US, Thailand and UK are three countries which are dramatically. It means that its increase from Indonesia (9%) to US (10, 5%), it decreases from US to Thailand (5%) and goes up to UK (9%) respectively. Five countries (China, Fiji, Singapore, Malaysia and Hong Kong) are under 5%. Addcording to the years 2010/2011, NZ is one the most country which Australian people live like the years 2000/2001. Then, the proportion of Australian is going down from NZ (14%) to Hong Kong (3%) and Malaysia (3%) respectively. Thailand and UK are nations which have the same percentage is about 6, 5%.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graph illustrates ten
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
(NZ, Indonesia, US, Thailand, UK, China, Fiji, Singapore, Malaysia, Hong Kong) that Australian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
between 2000/2001 and 2010/2011.

It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that in the years 2000/2001, the percentage of living ten nations is not
normally
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in the years 2010/2011, the ratio of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
decrease more and more.

First
, in the years 2000/2001, NZ is one of the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
which Australian residents choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
about 16%. Second, Indonesia, US, Thailand and UK are three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which are
dramatically
. It means that its increase from Indonesia (9%) to US (10, 5%), it decreases from US to Thailand (5%) and goes up to UK (9%)
respectively
. Five
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countries
(China, Fiji, Singapore, Malaysia and Hong Kong) are under 5%.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Addcording
to the years 2010/2011, NZ is
Did you mean "one of"?
one
the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
which Australian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
like the years 2000/2001. Then, the proportion of Australian is going down from NZ (14%) to Hong Kong (3%) and Malaysia (3%)
respectively
. Thailand and UK are nations which have the same percentage is about 6, 5%.

IELTS academic The bar graph below shows the top 10 destinations for Australian residents in the years 2000/2001 and 2010/2011.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
183 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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