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The bar graph below shows the top 10 destinations for Australian residents in the years 2000/2001 and 2010/2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features , and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar graph below shows the top 10 destinations for Australian residents in the years 2000/2001 and 2010/2011. 26XrM
The given bar graph illustrates ten countries (NZ, Indonesia, US, Thailand, UK, China, Fiji, Singapore, Malaysia, Hong Kong) that Australian people live between 2000/2001 and 2010/2011. It can be seen that in the years 2000/2001, the percentage of living ten nations is not normally. But in the years 2010/2011, the ratio of people live in these countries decrease more and more. First, in the years 2000/2001, NZ is one of the most country which Australian residents choose to live about 16%. Second, Indonesia, US, Thailand and UK are three countries which are dramatically. It means that its increase from Indonesia (9%) to US (10, 5%), it decreases from US to Thailand (5%) and goes up to UK (9%) respectively. Five countries (China, Fiji, Singapore, Malaysia and Hong Kong) are under 5%. Addcording to the years 2010/2011, NZ is one the most country which Australian people live like the years 2000/2001. Then, the proportion of Australian is going down from NZ (14%) to Hong Kong (3%) and Malaysia (3%) respectively. Thailand and UK are nations which have the same percentage is about 6, 5%.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graph illustrates ten
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
(NZ, Indonesia, US, Thailand, UK, China, Fiji, Singapore, Malaysia, Hong Kong) that Australian
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people
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live
between 2000/2001 and 2010/2011.

It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that in the years 2000/2001, the percentage of living ten nations is not
normally
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in the years 2010/2011, the ratio of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in these
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countries
decrease more and more.

First
, in the years 2000/2001, NZ is one of the most
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country
which Australian residents choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
about 16%. Second, Indonesia, US, Thailand and UK are three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which are
dramatically
. It means that its increase from Indonesia (9%) to US (10, 5%), it decreases from US to Thailand (5%) and goes up to UK (9%)
respectively
. Five
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countries
(China, Fiji, Singapore, Malaysia and Hong Kong) are under 5%.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Addcording
to the years 2010/2011, NZ is
Did you mean "one of"?
one
the most
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country
which Australian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
like the years 2000/2001. Then, the proportion of Australian is going down from NZ (14%) to Hong Kong (3%) and Malaysia (3%)
respectively
. Thailand and UK are nations which have the same percentage is about 6, 5%.
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IELTS academic The bar graph below shows the top 10 destinations for Australian residents in the years 2000/2001 and 2010/2011.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
183 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The bar graph below shows the top 10 destinations for Australian residents in the years 2000/2001 and 2010/2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features , and make comparisons where relevant.