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The bar graph below shows the number of enquiries received from tourist office in one city during the six months of 2011.

The bar graph below shows the number of enquiries received from tourist office in one city during the six months of 2011. 5B7dp
The bar graph depicts the queries received by the Tourist Information Office of one city for a period of six months in the year 2011. Overall, as per the graph, most of enquiries related to tourism was received through the medium of face-to-face interactions followed by telephonic conversation and minimum through the source of letters and e-mails. According to the line graph, in the month of January 2011, individuals who visited the office for tour purposes were 401 which skyrocketed throughout the years and reached to its peak level with 1900 visitors in the month of June 2011. However, the general queries made through post and electronic mails were 750 in the first month of 2011 which, resulted a downward movement and reached to 700 in the month of March and then it drastically driven down during the next three months and reached to below 400 which is the lowest among all other ways. Moreover, the questions received from the telephonic communications was maximum in January 20211 with more than 800 which is the most in that month which showed a collapsed in the February and later resulted in soaring through all other months and ended with 1600 in the month of June 2011.
The bar graph depicts the queries received by the Tourist Information Office of one city for a period of six
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
months
in the year 2011.

Overall
, as per the graph,
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the enquiries") or simply say "most enquiries".
most of enquiries
related to tourism
was received
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
the medium of face-to-face interactions followed by telephonic conversation and minimum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
the source of letters and e-mails.

According to the line graph, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
of January 2011, individuals who visited the office for tour purposes were 401 which skyrocketed throughout the years and reached to its peak level with 1900 visitors in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
of June 2011.
However
, the general queries made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
post and electronic mails were 750 in the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
of 2011 which, resulted a downward movement and reached to 700 in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
of March and then it
drastically
driven down during the
next
three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
months
and reached to below 400 which is the lowest among all other ways.
Moreover
, the questions received from the telephonic communications was maximum in January 20211 with more than 800 which is the most in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a collapsed in the February and later resulted in soaring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
all other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
months
and ended with 1600 in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
of June 2011.
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IELTS academic The bar graph below shows the number of enquiries received from tourist office in one city during the six months of 2011.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
204 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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