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The bar chart compares the number of prisoners in five coutries, namely Great Britain, Australia, the US, New Zealand and Canada in fifty years period starting from 1930.

The bar chart compares the number of prisoners in five coutries, namely Great Britain, Australia, the US, New Zealand and Canada in fifty years period starting from 1930. 96Jp7
The bar chart compares the number of prisoners in five coutries, namely Great Britain, Australia, the US, New Zealand and Canada in fifty years period starting from 1930. Overall, although there was some changes in the amount of prisoners in five countries, the highest number of prisoners was recorded for the US over the period in question. In 1930, Canada had 120 thousand prisoners, which was four times as high as Great Britain, at below 30 thousand. While the figure for Canada gradually decreased each years to merely under 100 thousand in 1980, an opposite pattern can be observed in Great Britain, leading to the gap between Canada and Great Britain had narrowed by the end of period, with more 90 thousand. Starting at equal number in 1930, the figure for the US and New Zealand experienced opposite trend. Meanwhile the number of prisoners in the US increased significantly to 140 thousand in the final year which was ranked the first in over the period, New Zealand decreased steadily to under 60 thousand in 1950, after which it rose to 90 thousand in the last year. The amount of Australia was under 70 thousand in 1930, which was fluctuated considerably and then dropped to around 50 thousand in 1980.
The bar chart compares the
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number
of
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prisoners
in five
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coutries
,
namely
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Great
Britain, Australia, the US, New Zealand and Canada in fifty years
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period
starting from 1930.

Overall
, although there was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the amount of
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prisoners
in five countries, the highest
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number
of
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prisoners
was recorded
for the US over the
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period
in question.

In 1930, Canada had 120 thousand
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prisoners
, which was four times as high as
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Great
Britain, at below 30 thousand. While the figure for Canada
gradually
decreased each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "year"?
years
to
merely
under 100 thousand in 1980, an opposite pattern can
be observed
in
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Great
Britain, leading to the gap between Canada and
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Great
Britain had narrowed by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of
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period
, with more 90 thousand.

Starting at equal
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number
in 1930, the figure for the US and New Zealand experienced opposite trend.
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Meanwhile
the
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number
of
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prisoners
in the US increased
significantly
to 140 thousand in the final
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year
which
was ranked
the
first
in over the
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period
, New Zealand decreased
steadily
to under 60 thousand in 1950, after which it rose to 90 thousand in the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. The amount of Australia was under 70 thousand in 1930, which
was fluctuated
considerably
and then dropped to around 50 thousand in 1980.
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IELTS academic The bar chart compares the number of prisoners in five coutries, namely Great Britain, Australia, the US, New Zealand and Canada in fifty years period starting from 1930.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
209 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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