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Total health spending under various heath care services.

Total health spending under various heath care services. 2Kmkk
The pie chart shows the different percentage of total health spending in various healthcare services like nursing home, prescription drugs, administration, doctors and clinical services, hospital care and other spending. As can be seen from the chart the biggest area of total health spending, which is 31% went to hospital care, while a sum of 23% belongs to other spending. Surprisingly, nearly the same amount which is 22% is spent on doctors and clinical services. In contrast both nursing home and administration is having the equivalent proportion of 7%. And the second smallest area of the chart diagram falls under prescription drugs with 10%. Major chunk of expenditure spending include hospital care, doctor and clinical services, all these services are directly related to patient’s mental and physical health, summing both we get the highest figure of 53% with majority. Adding rest other services we get the numbers 47%, this clearly states that services directly to patient took off major part of spending than that of others.
The pie chart
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shows
the
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different
percentage of total health
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spending
in various healthcare
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services
like nursing home, prescription drugs, administration, doctors and clinical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
, hospital care and
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other
spending.

As can be
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seen
from the chart the biggest area of total health
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spending
, which is 31% went to hospital care, while a sum of 23% belongs to
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other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
.
Surprisingly
,
nearly
the same amount which is 22%
is spent
on doctors and clinical services.

In
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contrast
both nursing home and administration is having the equivalent proportion of 7%.

And the second smallest area of the chart diagram falls under prescription drugs with 10%.

Major chunk of expenditure
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spending
include hospital care, doctor and clinical
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services
, all these
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services
are
directly
related to patient’s mental and physical health, summing both we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the highest figure of 53% with majority.

Adding rest
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other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the numbers 47%, this
clearly
states that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
directly
to patient took off major part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
than that of others.

IELTS academic Total health spending under various heath care services.

Academic
  American English
6 paragraphs
166 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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