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The bar charts show the number of foreign students enrolled on two music production courses at a college in Scotland. v.1

The bar charts show the number of foreign students enrolled on two music production courses at a college in Scotland. v. 1
The presented charts depict a number of male and female international students from five different countries registered on two music production courses (MP1 and MT1) at a single college in Scotland. Overall, among the five countries, much more Swiss students enrolled in both courses while Turkish students are the least enrollees. It is clear that a significant majority of the enrolled students on MP1 are male. In total, there are 21 male students and 9 female students enrolled the course. Most takers are from Switzerland with 9 students, followed by Portugal and Finland with 7 and 6 students respectively. However, the minority of overseas students joined the course are Belgians and Turkish, with only 4 each nationality. On the other hand, students enrolled on MT1 are mostly female. Similarly, the number of Swiss students is much greater than other nationalities, with 7 females and 1 male. An almost identical trend can be considered with Belgians, Finnish and Portuguese students with 6 females and 1 male, 5 females and 1 male, and 3 females and 2 male students respectively. Turkey only contributes 1 male to the course, with no female enrollee.
The presented charts depict a number of male and
female
international
students
from five
different
countries registered on two music production
courses
(MP1 and MT1) at a single college in Scotland.
Overall
, among the five countries, much more Swiss
students
enrolled in both
courses
while Turkish
students
are the least
enrollees
.

It is
clear
that a significant majority of the enrolled
students
on MP1 are male. In total, there are 21 male
students
and 9
female
students
enrolled the
course
. Most takers are from Switzerland with 9
students
, followed by Portugal and Finland with 7 and 6
students
respectively
.
However
, the minority of overseas
students
joined
the
course
are Belgians and Turkish, with
only
4 each nationality.

On the other hand
,
students
enrolled on MT1 are
mostly
female
.
Similarly
, the number of Swiss
students
is much greater than other nationalities, with 7
females
and 1 male. An almost identical trend can
be considered
with Belgians, Finnish and Portuguese
students
with 6
females
and 1 male, 5
females
and 1 male, and 3
females
and 2 male
students
respectively
. Turkey
only
contributes 1 male to the
course
, with no
female
enrollee
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS academic The bar charts show the number of foreign students enrolled on two music production courses at a college in Scotland. v. 1

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
190 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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