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The bar charts illustrate the weight of people by different age groups in Charlestown in two years (1955 and 2015).

The bar charts illustrate the weight of people by different age groups in Charlestown in two years (1955 and 2015). x2gn9
The bar charts illustrate the weight of people by different age groups in Charlestown in two years (1955 and 2015). Overall, in 1955 most people had ideal weight, whereas in 2015 the proportion of people with ideal weight and obese ones was similar. The percentage of the underweight population declined over the given period in comparison with overweigh proportion of people which increased. In 1955, the ideal body weight prevailed in all age groups accounting for approximately 60 % of the population. The ages 20-29 showed the least proportion of overweight people (around 2%). The percentage of people with obesity was bigger than 0% but less than 10% for ages 40-69. The majority of the underweight population was in groups 20-29 and 60-69 making up 28% and 41% respectively. With regard to the year 2015, the number of obese people rose dramatically in comparison to 1955. It was evident especially in ages 60-69 where the obese population accounted for nearly 60%. Likewise, 50% of group 50-59 comprised of people with obesity. The majority of people with ideal weight was in group 20-29 accounting for approximately 70%, whereas the least number of ideal weight was in ages 60-69.
The bar charts illustrate the
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weight
of
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people
by
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different
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age
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groups
in Charlestown in two years (1955 and 2015).

Overall
, in 1955 most
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people
had
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ideal
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weight
, whereas in 2015 the proportion of
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people
with
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ideal
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weight
and obese ones was similar. The percentage of the underweight
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population
declined over the
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given
period
in comparison
with
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overweigh
proportion of
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people
which increased.

In 1955, the
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ideal
body
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weight
prevailed in all
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age
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groups
accounting for approximately 60 % of the
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population
. The
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ages
20-29
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showed
the least proportion of overweight
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people
(around

2%). The percentage of
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people
with obesity was bigger than 0%
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but
less than 10% for
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ages
40-69.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
majority of the underweight
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population
was in
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groups
20-29 and 60-69 making up 28% and 41%
respectively
.

With regard to the year 2015, the number of obese
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people
rose
dramatically
in comparison
to 1955. It was evident
especially
in
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ages
60-69 where the obese
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population
accounted for
nearly
60%.
Likewise
, 50% of
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group
50-59 comprised of
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people
with obesity. The majority of
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people
with ideal

weight was in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
20-29 accounting for approximately 70%, whereas the least number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
was in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
60-69.
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IELTS academic The bar charts illustrate the weight of people by different age groups in Charlestown in two years (1955 and 2015).

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
197 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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