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percentages of the donated funds to beneficence through the years 1990 and 2010 in the United Kingdom.

percentages of the donated funds to beneficence through the years 1990 and 2010 in the United Kingdom. 3AxDl
This graph shows the percentages of the donated funds to beneficence through the years 1990 and 2010 in the United Kingdom. In a general overview the highest funds are in the ages of 36-50 years old, the ages with less quantities are between the 18-25 years old; there are also seemed differences in the 2 years of the results, the majority decrease, but some of them increase. The lowest point of the results is in the ages of 18-25 years old, by comparing the first year and the last of the graph we can see that the quantity of money given decreases even more.
This graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the percentages of the donated funds to beneficence through the years 1990 and 2010 in the United Kingdom.

In a general overview the highest funds are in the ages of 36-50 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, the ages with
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun quantities is countable.
less
quantities are between the 18-25 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
; there are
also
seemed differences in the 2 years of the results, the majority decrease,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them increase.

The lowest point of the results is in the ages of 18-25 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, by comparing the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
and the last of the graph we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the quantity of money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
decreases even more.
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IELTS academic percentages of the donated funds to beneficence through the years 1990 and 2010 in the United Kingdom.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
104 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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