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The bar charts illustrate the amount of honey bee manufacture and amount of honey production in the USA between 1970 and 2010.

The bar charts illustrate the amount of honey bee manufacture and amount of honey production in the USA between 1970 and 2010. BMBB6
The bar charts illustrate the amount of honey bee manufacture and amount of honey production in the USA between 1970 and 2010. Overall, there were downward trend in the honey-bee colonies over the period. Also, these products fluctuate. There were 4 million honey colonies in 1970. However, this measures rose slightly in 1980 with 4. 2 millions. In 1980, 2000 and 2010 this showed a fall dramatically. The honey colonies contributed by far the lowest millions in 2010, peaking at little more than 1. 5millions. Therefore, a significant majority of colonies were 4. 2 millions over the period. In 1970, the quantities of honey production was 130. 000 tonnes. Differ from 1970, the honey productions fell gradually by 110. 000 tonnes in 1980. However, in the next 10 years, it suddenly went up 120. 000 tonnes. Then the measure of honey productions continually decreased every 10 years. Detail in, 2000 and 2010, this showed a drop respectively with 100. 000 tonnes and 70. 000 tonnes. Written by me #writingsample3
The bar charts illustrate the amount of honey bee manufacture and amount of honey
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
in the USA between 1970 and 2010.

Overall
, there were downward trend in the honey-bee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
colonies
over the period.
Also
, these products fluctuate.

There were 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
honey
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
colonies
in 1970.
However
, this measures rose
slightly
in 1980 with 4. 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
. In 1980, 2000 and 2010 this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a fall
dramatically
. The honey
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
colonies
contributed by far the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
in 2010, peaking at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
more than 1.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
5millions
.
Therefore
, a significant majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
colonies
were 4. 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
over the period.

In 1970, the quantities of honey
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
was 130. 000 tonnes. Differ from 1970, the honey
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
productions
fell
gradually
by 110. 000 tonnes in 1980.
However
, in the
next
10 years, it
suddenly
went up 120. 000 tonnes. Then the measure of honey
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
productions
continually
decreased every 10 years. Detail in, 2000 and 2010, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a drop
respectively
with 100. 000 tonnes and 70. 000 tonnes.

Written by me

#writingsample3
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IELTS academic The bar charts illustrate the amount of honey bee manufacture and amount of honey production in the USA between 1970 and 2010.

Academic
  American English
6 paragraphs
168 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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