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Expenditures upon various reasons in Japan and Malaysia in 2010

Expenditures upon various reasons in Japan and Malaysia in 2010 nVGPo
The pie chart exhibits apropos of the usages for the house chores in the nations of Japan and Malaysia in the year of 2010. The average costs were determined based on the percentages’ form. The congruent information amidst the twos is that the health care or nursing was diametrically lower than the other issues. In Japan, the loots utilized on each field excluding the former were equivalent, however; the housing utilization’ s costs were superabundant great in Malaysia. Approximately, nearly one-fourth of the space was consumed by the food in Japan. In 2010, the transport was not as crucial as the prior one so its percentage hit the inflexion of twenty percentages. In a akin way, the possession of housing accessories’ money was 21 percent and only a number beat the transport. The health services were not too necessitated so a thumb of space is intended for it. Other goods and commodities owned ridiculously close to 30 percent. Malaysia ‘s transport, of course, used only half of expenditures concentrated on it where japan is. Obviously, the housing needs were paramount huger in Malay than in Japan. The two ones were not disparate in the case of food. Nevertheless, the gap betwixt the nations in other appurtenances stroke 3 percent. For health warmth, it was still not yuppified. To wrap up, the citizens of two nations mainly used appropriately and enormously to feast and to facilitate the homes with others services. Transport was more costly in Japan, nevertheless; for Malaysia, the housing rudimental uses were more powerful in 2010. The two countries only needed normally a very bit piece of costs for health care and charging in hospitals or surgeries.
The pie chart exhibits apropos of the usages for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
chores in the nations of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
and Malaysia in the year of 2010. The average costs
were determined
based on the percentages’ form.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
congruent information amidst the twos is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care or nursing was
diametrically
lower than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
issues. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
, the loots utilized on each field excluding the former were equivalent,
however
; the housing utilization’ s costs were superabundant great in Malaysia. Approximately,
nearly
one-fourth of the space
was consumed
by the food in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
. In 2010, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
was not as crucial as the prior one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
its percentage hit the
Possible spelling mistake found.
inflexion
of twenty percentages.
Consider replacing "In a akin way" with the adverb for "akin"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
In a akin way
, the possession of housing accessories’ money was 21 percent and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a number beat the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
services were not too necessitated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
a thumb of space
is intended
for it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and commodities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
ridiculously
close to 30 percent. Malaysia ‘s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
,
of course
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
half of expenditures concentrated on it where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
japan
is.
Obviously
, the housing needs were paramount huger in Malay than in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
. The two ones were not disparate in the case of food.
Nevertheless
, the gap betwixt the nations in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
appurtenances stroke 3 percent. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
warmth, it was
still
not yuppified. To wrap up, the citizens of two nations
mainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
appropriately
and
enormously
to feast and to facilitate the homes with others services.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Transport
was more costly in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
,
nevertheless
; for Malaysia, the housing
Possible spelling mistake found.
rudimental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
were more powerful in 2010. The two countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
needed
normally
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
bit piece of costs for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care and charging in hospitals or surgeries.
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IELTS academic Expenditures upon various reasons in Japan and Malaysia in 2010

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
279 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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