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The bar chart shows the percentage of the total world populatio

The bar chart shows the percentage of the total world populatio RVogW
The bar chart compares the variation in praportion of the world population in four different countries from 1950 to 2003. It is also shows prediction for 2050. At first glance, it is observed that, the India had contained 15% of the world population in the year 1950. Likewise, China showed the highest percent of world population in that year which was about 24%. In addition, USA and Japan had noticed 7% and 4% population in 1950. Moreover, in 2002 China and India contained 17% and 20% of world population. While USA and Japan holded 5% and 3 % in 2002. On the other hand, it is observed that projection shows that in India the population will be increase 17% and in China it will be fall down at 15%. Furthermore, USA remains steady in 2050 at 5%. At last, Japan will lost their population around 2 % in 2050. Overall, Indian population increases throught out time period, whereas China, USA and japan experienced a continuous decrease.
The bar chart compares the variation in
Possible spelling mistake found.
praportion
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries from 1950 to 2003. It is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
prediction for 2050.

At
first
glance, it
is observed
that, the India had contained 15% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in the year 1950.
Likewise
, China
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
the highest percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in that year which was about 24%.
In addition
, USA and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
had noticed 7% and 4%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in 1950.
Moreover
, in 2002 China and India contained 17% and 20% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
.
A determiner is probably missing here: "While the USA".
While USA
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "held", the past tense form of the verb 'hold'?
holded
5% and 3 % in 2002.

On the other hand
, it
is observed
that projection
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that in India the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
will be increase 17% and in China it will be fall down at 15%.
Furthermore
, USA remains steady in 2050 at 5%. At last,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "lose"
lost
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
around 2 % in 2050.

Overall
, Indian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
increases
Possible spelling mistake found.
throught out
time period, whereas China, USA and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
japan
experienced a continuous decrease.
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IELTS academic The bar chart shows the percentage of the total world populatio

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
166 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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