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The bar chart shows the percentage of ownedhouseholder and retal house accommodation in 1981 to 2011

The bar chart shows the percentage of ownedhouseholder and retal house accommodation in 1981 to 2011 RkVDQ
The bar chart depicts the proportion of owning and renting accommodation in England and Wales within the period of 93 years from 1918 to 2011. Overall, there was an upward trend on ownership sides but the rental houses presented a gradual decline. In particular, in 1918, there was a significant distinction between owned and rented accomodation, proprietor comprised at just under a quarter, and renter reached a highest level at about 78%. In addition, the frection of next two periods remained stable for both owner and renter, with approximately 30% and 68% respectively. In 1961, owned households accounted for just over two fifths, then they followed a dramatic swell, reaching a peak of almost 70% in 2001. On the contrary, the houses that were rented, pursued a opposite trend, commencing from just below ten in ten and falling to slightly under a third. Lastly, there was a gentle surge of renter in 2011 and lessened marginally in owner side.
The bar chart depicts the proportion of owning and renting accommodation in England and Wales within the period of 93 years from 1918 to 2011.

Overall
, there was an upward trend on ownership sides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the rental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
presented a gradual decline.

In particular
, in 1918, there was a significant distinction between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
and rented
Possible spelling mistake found.
accomodation
, proprietor comprised at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under a quarter, and renter reached
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
highest level at about 78%.
In addition
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
frection
of
next
two periods remained stable for both owner and renter, with approximately 30% and 68%
respectively
.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
1961,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
households accounted for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over two fifths, then they followed a dramatic swell, reaching a peak of almost 70% in 2001.
On the contrary
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
that
were rented
, pursued
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
opposite trend, commencing from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
below ten in ten and falling to
slightly
under a third.
Lastly
, there was a gentle surge of renter in 2011 and lessened
marginally
in owner side.
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IELTS academic The bar chart shows the percentage of ownedhouseholder and retal house accommodation in 1981 to 2011

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
159 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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