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Bar graphs about males and female in different subjects in two different yearss grades

Bar graphs about males and female in different subjects in two different yearss grades 7rrrk
The given bar graphs represent the information about the proportion of men and women who got top grades in different five subjects in the years 1960 and 2000. To be more precise, nearly a third percent, males scored good grades in science and maths in 1960 whereas this figure was noticed at 10℅ and 5℅ in females, orderly. In arts, ladies got three times better grades than gents that was 10℅. the percentage of grades were 20 and 40 in languages. And, around half percent, males got top grades in humanities and it was double from females grades in same subject. Moving towards, in 2000, double percent were noticed in the case of science in males than females which was 10℅. however, similar grades were got by gents in arts and language around 20℅. in maths, grades were observed at 15℅ and 5℅in males and females, respectively. The equivalent figure was 45℅ in males and 25℅in females in humanities subject. Overall, it can be seen that females got higher amount of grades in subjects than males in the given period of time.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graphs represent the information about the proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
top
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grades
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
five subjects in the years 1960 and 2000.

To be more precise,
nearly
a third percent,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
scored
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grades
in science and
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
in 1960 whereas this figure
was noticed
at 10℅ and 5℅ in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
, orderly. In arts, ladies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
three times better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grades
than gents that was 10℅.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grades
were 20 and 40 in languages. And, around half percent,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
top
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grades
in humanities and it was double from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grades
in same subject.

Moving towards, in 2000, double percent
were noticed
in the case of science in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
which was 10℅.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
, similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grades
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
by gents in arts and language around 20℅.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
,
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grades
were observed
at 15℅ and 5℅in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
and
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females
,
respectively
.

The equivalent figure was 45℅ in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
and 25℅in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
in humanities subject.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
higher amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grades
in subjects than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period of time.
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IELTS academic Bar graphs about males and female in different subjects in two different yearss grades

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
182 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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