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The bar chart provides the information of production and consumption of electricity in ten countries in 2014 v.2

The bar chart provides the information of production and consumption of electricity in ten countries in 2014 v. 2
The bar chart provides the information of production and consumption of electricity in ten countries in 2014. It is evident that majority of countries have consumed the electricity less than the amount of the production, however, Germany was the only country which consumed electricity more than the production result. There was a high consumption of electricity in China and The USA, reaching amount of 5000 billion KwH in China and 3500 billion KwH in the USA. Though of massive use, the production level of electricity in both countries were still exceeding the consumption number with slight difference by only below than 150 billion Kwh remained at the end of the year. Germany as the 9th rank in chart used more electricity than the ability to produce it. It was shown that the country exceeded the number of production in 526. 6 billion KwH into 582. 5 billion Kwh at the end of year, concluding approximately 44 billion Kwh as the electricity loss. The other countries such as Russia, Japan, India, Canada, France, Brazil, as well as Korea Republic as the least electricity source and consumer saw the stagnancy of electricity use.
The bar chart provides the information of
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production
and consumption of
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electricity
in ten
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countries
in 2014. It is evident that majority of
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countries
have consumed the
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electricity
less than the amount of the
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production
,
however
, Germany was the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
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country
which consumed
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electricity
more than the
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production
result.

There was a high consumption of
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electricity
in China and The USA, reaching amount of 5000
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billion
Possible spelling mistake found.
KwH
in China and 3500
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billion
Possible spelling mistake found.
KwH
in the USA. Though of massive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
, the
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production
level of
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electricity
in both
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countries
were
still
exceeding the consumption number with slight difference by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Use "(below)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
below
than 150
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billion
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kwh
remained at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the year.

Germany as the 9th rank in chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
more
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electricity
than the ability to produce it. It
was shown
that the
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country
exceeded the number of
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production
in 526. 6
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billion
Possible spelling mistake found.
KwH
into 582. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kwh
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of year, concluding approximately 44
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billion
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kwh
as the
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electricity
loss. The other
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countries
such as Russia, Japan, India, Canada, France, Brazil,
as well
as Korea Republic as the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
source and consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
the stagnancy of
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electricity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS academic The bar chart provides the information of production and consumption of electricity in ten countries in 2014 v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
191 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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