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The bar chart provides information about the income of export in one country in many categories between 2015 and 2016 and the table compares the difference in the percentage of 5 categories in 2016 with 2015. v.2

The bar chart provides information about the income of export in one country in many categories between 2015 and 2016 and the table compares the difference in the percentage of 5 categories in 2016 with 2015. v. 2
Overall, while bar chart showed that petroleum products and engineered goods were the two most valued field in both years, the noticeable figure of table illustrates that only the percentage of value in gems and jewelry decreased in 5 separate categories It is noticeable to note that petroleum products and engineered goods showed the highest value in export. During the period of 2015 to 2016, the expenditure of these 2 areas were relatively equal, which accounted for approximately $60 billions. Interestingly, agricultural products had exported exactly $40 billions in 2 years. while gems and jewelry accounted for a half of export earnings in 2015 and 2016, textiles only had a small contribution in income another highlighting point is gem and jewelry was the one and only category decreased drastically in its percentage change in values. Unlike textiles, which took a big leap of 15. 24%, gem and jewelry fell 5. 18% of its values from 2015 to 2016. agricultural products showed the smallest increase, which was below 1%. another field that had a rise was petroleum products with the climb of exactly 3%
Overall
, while bar chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that petroleum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and engineered
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
were the two most valued field in both years, the noticeable figure of table illustrates that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gems
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jewelry
decreased in 5 separate categories

It is noticeable to note that petroleum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and engineered
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
in export. During the period of 2015 to 2016, the expenditure of these 2 areas were
relatively
equal, which accounted for approximately $60 billions.
Interestingly
, agricultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
had exported exactly $40 billions in 2 years.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gems
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jewelry
accounted for a half of export earnings in 2015 and 2016, textiles
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
contribution in
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
income


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
another
highlighting point is
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gem
and
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jewelry
was the one and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
category decreased
drastically
in its percentage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in values. Unlike textiles, which took a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
leap of 15. 24%,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gem
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jewelry
fell 5. 18% of its values from 2015 to 2016.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
agricultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
the smallest increase, which was below 1%.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
another
field that had a rise was petroleum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
with the climb of exactly 3%
0Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
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IELTS academic The bar chart provides information about the income of export in one country in many categories between 2015 and 2016 and the table compares the difference in the percentage of 5 categories in 2016 with 2015. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
182 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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