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The bar chart illustrates there are four different age groups suffered from the most crucial reasons of stress in Canada.

The bar chart illustrates there are four different age groups suffered from the most crucial reasons of stress in Canada. gAd31
The bar chart illustrates there are four different age groups suffered from the most crucial reasons of stress in Canada. Looking at the chart, it is clear that people in their 70's and over were under pressure because of their own health matters and without any specific reasons. In addition, due the overload put pressure on the 25-54 age group. For people age from 65 to 74 and 75 or older were still stressed albeit without any causes, which took up 32% and 35% respectively. Moreover, the problems about finance was less than half than an overload of stress in people falling into the 40 to 49 age group, at 10%. On the contrary, 10% or less was the the percentage of those age 65-74 and 75 and above at the same two tensions. Interestingly, the allocation the elderly people in the 75s was twice greater than people who were between 55 and 64 years olad. This figure followed by health issuse. Nevertheless, the smallest minority which made up 4% for the 25-54. We can see that for each age group would have a number of factors having influence on themselves.
The bar chart illustrates there are four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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age
groups suffered from the most crucial reasons of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
in Canada.

Looking at the chart, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
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people
in their
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "70s".
70's
and over were under pressure
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because
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
health matters and without any specific reasons.
In addition
, due the overload put pressure on the 25-54
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age
group.

For
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
from 65 to 74 and 75 or older were
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
albeit without any causes, which took up 32% and 35%
respectively
.
Moreover
, the problems about finance was less than half than an overload of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
falling into the 40 to 49
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group, at 10%.
On the contrary
, 10% or less was
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
percentage of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
65-74 and 75 and above at the same two tensions.

Interestingly
, the allocation the elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the 75s was twice greater than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who were between 55 and 64 years
Possible spelling mistake found.
olad
. This figure followed by health
Possible spelling mistake found.
issuse
.
Nevertheless
, the smallest minority which made up 4% for the 25-54. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that for each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group would have a number of factors having influence on themselves.
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IELTS academic The bar chart illustrates there are four different age groups suffered from the most crucial reasons of stress in Canada.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
191 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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