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• The bar chart illustrates the proportion of young people taking part in five different activities in spare time in the US in 2013

• The bar chart illustrates the proportion of young people taking part in five different activities in spare time in the US in 2013 gq1yO
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of young people taking part in five different activities in spare time in the US in 2013. It is evident that males were interested in playing computer games most, while most females engaged in shopping. In addition, men participated the least in reading, whereas computer games attracted the fewest women. Participation in four leisure activities was higher for women in the US. Over 75% of women took part in shopping, and the figure for reading was 8%. Furthermore, the proportion of females who participated in going with friends and listening to music were respectively about 72% and 28%. • On the other hand, the percentage of men who joined in the remaining square time activities was higher. About 82% and 65% of men enjoyed playing computer games and watching TV while the women’s figure was significantly lower. In addition, the number of young males who took part in going to the gym and cinema was respectively 41% and 42%
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
taking part in five
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
activities in spare time in the US in 2013. It is evident that males
were interested
in playing computer games most, while most females engaged in shopping.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
participated the least in reading, whereas computer games attracted the fewest women.

Participation in four leisure activities was higher for women in the US. Over 75% of women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
took part
in shopping, and the figure for reading was 8%.
Furthermore
, the proportion of females who participated in going with friends and listening to music were
respectively
about 72% and 28%.

•
On the other hand
, the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
in the remaining square time activities was higher. About 82% and 65% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
enjoyed playing computer games and watching TV while the women’s figure was
significantly
lower.
In addition
, the number of young males who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
took part
in going to the gym and cinema was
respectively
41% and 42%
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IELTS academic • The bar chart illustrates the proportion of young people taking part in five different activities in spare time in the US in 2013

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
163 words
7.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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