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The line graph shows the users of Twitter in the USA

The line graph shows the users of Twitter in the USA 0amnl
The graph illustrates the usage of Twitter by age group in the United States from November 2010 to May 2013. Overall, it is clear that ages from 18 to 29 used Twitter more than any other age group, however the proportion of users from ages 65 and up was the least, the trend was upwards throughout the period, while for the other trend was fluctuating. By contrast, while there was a rise in the proportion of ages 18 to 29 from just under 15% in November 2010 to 30% in May 2013, the trend from ages 30 to 49 fluctuated from about 7% in November 2010 to 14% in February in 2012 until it starts to rose up. As for the percentage of ages 50 to 64, the trend rose gradually along with a remained flat at 6% in November 2010 to January 2011, but for ages 65 and up it has reached its highest point at about 6% in May 2011 and plummeted back down at 3% in August 2011.
The graph illustrates the usage of Twitter by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group in the United States from November 2010 to May 2013.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
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ages
from 18 to 29
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
Twitter more than any other
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age
group,
however
the proportion of users from
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ages
65 and up was the least, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
was upwards throughout the period, while for the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
was fluctuating.

By contrast, while there was a rise in the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
18 to 29 from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 15% in November 2010 to 30% in May 2013, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
from
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ages
30 to 49 fluctuated from about 7% in November 2010 to 14% in February in 2012 until it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
to rose up. As for the percentage of
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ages
50 to 64, the
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trend
rose
gradually
along with a remained flat at 6% in November 2010 to January 2011,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for
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ages
65 and up it has reached its highest point at about 6% in May 2011 and plummeted back down at 3% in August 2011.
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IELTS academic The line graph shows the users of Twitter in the USA

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
171 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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