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The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US Ownly
The line chart provides data on the proportion of people who were unemployed in 2 countries Japan and the US from March 1993 and March 1999. Overall, the unemployment rate in the US is downward trend and the Japan is upward trend. But in the between of March 1998 and March 1999, the unemployment in 2 countries have the same percentage of work force. As can be seen from the given illustration, the unemployment rate in the US was just over 7% in March 1993 but in Japan, the unemployment rate is 2. 5%. But in two years, this rate went down rapidly just 5. 5% while it went up in Japan and stood at 3. 0% on the equal time. Between March 1995 and March 1997, the unemployment rate in the US and Japan fluctuated slightly. The rate of joblessness in both countries in between March 1998 and March 1999 was just about 4. 5%. At the end of March 1999, the percentage of work force in the US became less than Japan. The line chart gives that the joblessness in the US dropped to 4% in March at the same time as this charge in Japan reached to over 4. 5%.
The line chart provides data on the proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
were unemployed
in 2 countries
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Japan
and the US from March 1993 and March 1999.

Overall
, the
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unemployment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
in the US is downward trend and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
is upward trend.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in the between of March 1998 and March 1999, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
in 2 countries have the same percentage of work force.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
illustration, the
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unemployment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
in the US was
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just
over 7% in March 1993
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
is 2. 5%.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in two years, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
went down
rapidly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
5. 5% while it went up in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
and stood at 3. 0% on the equal time. Between March 1995 and March 1997, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
in the US and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
fluctuated
slightly
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of joblessness in both countries in between March 1998 and March 1999 was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
about 4. 5%. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of March 1999, the percentage of work force in the US became less than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
. The line chart gives that the joblessness in the US dropped to 4% in March at the same time as this charge in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
reached to over 4. 5%.
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IELTS academic The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
203 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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