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The bar chart illustrates the proportion of individuals who went to cinemas in a particular European country in a week between 2003 and 2007.

The bar chart illustrates the proportion of individuals who went to cinemas in a particular European country in a week between 2003 and 2007. bEnV6
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of individuals who went to cinemas in a particular European country in a week between 2003 and 2007. Overall, Saturday and Sunday were the more favourable days to visit the cinemas than on weekdays in this country throughout the period shown. Additionally, Monday was the least popular day for film-goers, whereas the opposite was true for Saturday. In 2003, the percentage of people going to cinemas on Saturday was highest, at 40%, while the figures for Sunday and Friday were slightly lower, at 30% each. 20%, 16% and 17% individuals visited cinemas on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, compared to only 10% on Monday. In 2007, the percentage of Saturday movie-goers fell slightly to 42% and remained the highest figure, while the figures for Tuesday and Thursday moderately rose to nearly 20% each. By contrast, there were decreases to 12%, 9% and 32% in the figures for Monday, Wednesday and Sunday. Meanwhile, the figure for Friday remained stable at 30%.
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of individuals who went to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
in a particular European country in a week between 2003 and 2007.

Overall
, Saturday and Sunday were the more
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
days to visit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
than on weekdays in this country throughout the period shown.
Additionally
, Monday was the least popular day for film-goers, whereas the opposite was true for Saturday.

In 2003, the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
on Saturday was highest, at 40%, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
for Sunday and Friday were
slightly
lower, at 30% each. 20%, 16% and 17% individuals visited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, compared to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10% on Monday.

In 2007, the percentage of Saturday movie-goers fell
slightly
to 42% and remained the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
for Tuesday and Thursday
moderately
rose to
nearly
20% each. By contrast, there were decreases to 12%, 9% and 32% in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
for Monday, Wednesday and Sunday. Meanwhile, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for Friday remained stable at 30%.

IELTS academic The bar chart illustrates the proportion of individuals who went to cinemas in a particular European country in a week between 2003 and 2007.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
165 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 6.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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