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The bar chart illustrates the number of enquiries by letter and email dropped gradually over the next two

The bar chart illustrates the number of enquiries by letter and email dropped gradually over the next two G3oVx
The prediction of line graph shows data about the percentage of people who aged 65 and over, over a century from to 1940 to 2040 in three various countries. Overall, it can be seen that all of the proportion of seniors is far lower than the future results. Despite showing the lowest results, it is estimated that the seniors in Japan will be the best among the others in 2040. It is clear that the percentage of seniors in USA and Sweden showed less significant growth, with just under 10% and over 5% in 1940. Thw figure then had been similar each other until 1990, by a considerable rise and drop. Having showed fluctuation between 1990 and 2020, then Sweden's seniors will rise dramatically, reaching just 25% in 2040. However, the number of seniors in USA will be ranked third with just 23% in 2040. In contrast, the proportion of seniors in Japan witnessed just 5% in 1940. Having dropped slightly to 4% in 1960, the figure then remained stable. After that, the number of people who aged 65 and over has increased remarkably to 10% until 2025. By 2040, it will rise to 26% in 2040, this number being the peak level of the population of who aged 65 and over.
The prediction of line graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
data about the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who aged 65 and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
a century from to 1940 to 2040 in three various countries.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
Consider using "all the".
all of the
proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seniors
is far lower than the future results. Despite showing the lowest results, it
is estimated
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seniors
in Japan will be the best among the others in 2040.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seniors
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
and Sweden
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
less significant growth, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 10% and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
5% in 1940.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Thw
figure then had been similar each other until 1990, by a considerable rise and drop. Having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
fluctuation between 1990 and 2020, then Sweden's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seniors
will rise
dramatically
, reaching
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
25% in 2040.
However
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seniors
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
will
be ranked
third with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
23% in 2040.

In contrast
, the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seniors
in Japan witnessed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
5% in 1940. Having dropped
slightly
to 4% in 1960, the figure then remained stable. After that, the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who aged 65 and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
has increased
remarkably
to 10% until 2025. By 2040, it will rise to 26% in 2040, this number being the peak level of the population of who aged 65 and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
.
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IELTS academic The bar chart illustrates the number of enquiries by letter and email dropped gradually over the next two

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
212 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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