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The bar chart illustrates the information about the contribution of three selected sectors to the UK economy of the twentieth century.

The bar chart illustrates the information about the contribution of three selected sectors to the UK economy of the twentieth century. J3OY6
The bar chart illustrates the information about the contribution of three selected sectors to the UK economy of the twentieth century. Overall, it can be seen that the figure for agriculture was the highest in the year 1950. Moreover, the data of manufacturing sector decreased in four periods while the figure of business and financial sector rose every year. As can be seen from the chart, the manufacturing sector contributed to the UK economy by nearly 45 percent in 1900 and declined to 39 percent in 1950 while the figure for the business and financial sector increased from 4 percent in 1900 to 9 percent in 1950. Moreover, in 1975, the number of manufacturing sector went down from 34 percent to 25 percent in 2000 but the data of business sector went up from 21 percent to 35 percent in the same period. Looking at the chart for more information, in the year 1900, the figure for agriculture at approximately 50 percent and slightly rose 52 percent in 1950. However, it has a dramatically decline to 11 percent in 1975 and went on dropped to 2 percent in the year 2000.
The bar chart illustrates the information about the contribution of three selected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
to the UK economy of the twentieth century.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for agriculture was the highest in the year 1950.
Moreover
, the data of manufacturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
decreased in four periods while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
of business and financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
rose every year.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the chart, the manufacturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
contributed to the UK economy by
nearly
45
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in 1900 and declined to 39
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in 1950 while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for the business and financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
increased from 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in 1900 to 9
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in 1950.
Moreover
, in 1975, the number of manufacturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
went down from 34
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
to 25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in 2000
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the data of business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
went up from 21
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
to 35
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in the same period.

Looking at the chart for more information, in the year 1900, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for agriculture at approximately 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
and
slightly
rose 52
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in 1950.
However
, it has a
You used an adverb ('dramatically') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('decline') instead of another adjective.
dramatically decline
to 11
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in 1975 and went on dropped to 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in the year 2000.
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IELTS academic The bar chart illustrates the information about the contribution of three selected sectors to the UK economy of the twentieth century.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
191 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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