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The bar chart demonstrate the percentage of adults

The bar chart demonstrate the percentage of adults rbBk6
The bar chart demonstrate the percentage of adults who were overweight or obese in one country from 1965 to 2015 while the pie chart gives information on the weight range of adults who were overweight, obese or severely obese in 2015. We can see there was an upward trend in percentage of adults who are overweight or obese. Also, over the third of adults are obese or too fat. The bar chart shows the number of overweight adults grew by under 80 % in 2015. approximately 45% of people were obese between 1965 and 1985. There was rising trend 1995 onwards. For extra details of pie chart less than third of people are healthy or underweight. It is clearly that weight range of the obese adult population was the highest with 34% and severely obese adult population was the lowest with 6%.
The bar
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chart
demonstrate the percentage of
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adults
who were
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overweight
or
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obese
in one country from 1965 to 2015 while the pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
gives information on the weight range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
who were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
obese
or
severely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
obese
in 2015.

We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
there was an upward trend in percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
who are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
obese
.
Also
, over the third of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
obese
or too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
.

The bar
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chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
grew by under 80 % in 2015.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
approximately
45% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
obese
between 1965 and 1985. There was rising trend 1995 onwards. For extra
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
less than third of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are healthy or underweight. It is
clearly
that weight range of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
obese
adult population was the highest with 34% and
severely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
obese
adult population was the lowest with 6%.
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IELTS academic The bar chart demonstrate the percentage of adults

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
142 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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