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The bar chart illustrates the information about several of males and females research linguistics, psychology, natural science, engineering, programming, mathematics, computer science subjects at a united state in 2011. It is depicted by regarded bar chart.

The bar chart illustrates the information about several of males and females research linguistics, psychology, natural science, engineering, programming, mathematics, computer science subjects at a united state in 2011. It is depicted by regarded bar chart. yRYYJ
To sum up, it can be vividly manifested that the highest number of subjects learn by learners which were natural science while others followed by opposite trend. Analyzing the data about in which subject pupils were most fascinated it was defined by one research mathematics subject read by males which were 200. Whereas, there was a sharp decline noticed learned by females closely58 than a dramatic rose seen learned by women exactly 150. Moreover, engineering subjects were read by ladies about 98, and there was a dramatic surged up observed in men learners there had been comprised expect 150. Analyzing the rest of the data natural science subjects adopt by both genders which were 200. Furthermore, psychology learned by men's mostly 200 and minor went down noticed in female learners it was above 150. Therefore the linguistic subject read by males nearly 58 while, linguistics subject chosen by the female which was approximately 130.
To sum up, it can be
vividly
manifested that the highest number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
learn by learners which were natural science while others followed by opposite trend. Analyzing the data about in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
pupils were most fascinated it
was defined
by one research mathematics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
read by males which were 200.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, there was a sharp decline noticed learned by females closely58 than a dramatic rose
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
learned by women exactly 150.
Moreover
, engineering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
were read
by ladies about 98, and there was a dramatic surged up observed in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
learners there had
been comprised
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
150. Analyzing the rest of the data natural science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
adopt by both genders which were 200.
Furthermore
, psychology learned by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
's
mostly
200 and minor went down noticed in female learners it was above 150.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
the linguistic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
read by males
nearly
58 while, linguistics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
chosen by the female which was approximately 130.
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IELTS academic The bar chart illustrates the information about several of males and females research linguistics, psychology, natural science, engineering, programming, mathematics, computer science subjects at a united state in 2011. It is depicted by regarded bar chart.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
154 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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