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The bar chart illustrates the generation and the usage of electricity in the top ten countries of the world in 2014.The data has been calibrated in billion KWh.

The bar chart illustrates the generation and the usage of electricity in the top ten countries of the world in 2014. The data has been calibrated in billion KWh. 9l593
The bar chart illustrates the generation and the usage of electricity in the top ten countries of the world in 2014. The data has been calibrated in billion KWh. Overall, China is the one of the top most country in the world in production and consumption of the electricity, while The Korea Rep. is the one of the lowest one in this list in the year 2014. It is quite clear from the bar chart, China(5, 398), The United States(4, 099) and Russia(1, 057) are the countries, which are producing higher of electricity than their consumption in the year 2014. In addition, Japan, Canada, France, Brazil and The Korea Rep. also producing more electricity by 936. 2, 618. 9, 561. 2, 530. 7 and 485. 1 KWh. On the other hand, in India and Germany, it has been seen that the production is less than its consumption by 871 KWh and 582. 5 KWh only. Whereas, in consumption of electricity similarly, The United States, Russia and China are the major one by 3, 866, 1, 038 and 5, 322 Kwh. Apart of these the countries Japan, India, Canada, France, Brazil, Germany and The Korea. Rep are consuming electricity by 856. 7, 698. 8, 499. 9, 462. 9, 455. 8, 582. 5 and 449. 5 KWh respectively.
The bar chart illustrates the generation and the usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
in the top ten
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countries
of the world in 2014. The data has
been calibrated
in
Use "a billion" or use a number before 'billion'.
billion
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KWh
.

Overall
, China is the one of the top most
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country
in the world in production and
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consumption
of the
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electricity
, while The Korea Rep. is the one of the lowest one in this list in the year 2014.

It is quite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the bar chart, China(5, 398), The United States(4, 099) and Russia(1, 057) are the
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countries
, which are producing higher of
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electricity
than their
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consumption
in the year 2014.
In addition
, Japan, Canada, France, Brazil and The Korea Rep.
also
producing more
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electricity
by 936. 2, 618. 9, 561. 2, 530. 7 and 485. 1
Possible spelling mistake found.
KWh
.
On the other hand
, in India and Germany, it has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the production is less than its
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consumption
by 871
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KWh
and 582. 5
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KWh
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.

Whereas, in
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consumption
of
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electricity
similarly
, The United States, Russia and China are the major one by 3, 866, 1, 038 and 5, 322
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kwh
.
Wrong collocation. Did you mean "apart from"?
Apart of
these the
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countries
Japan, India, Canada, France, Brazil, Germany and The Korea. Rep are consuming
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electricity
by 856. 7, 698. 8, 499. 9, 462. 9, 455. 8, 582. 5 and 449. 5
Possible spelling mistake found.
KWh
respectively
.
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IELTS academic The bar chart illustrates the generation and the usage of electricity in the top ten countries of the world in 2014. The data has been calibrated in billion KWh.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
216 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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