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The diagram shows how apple juice is produced

The diagram shows how apple juice is produced L9BDG
The process chart illustrates the production of apple juice. Overall, it is obvious that the apple juice production consists of several stages starting with harvesting and selecting of apples and ending up with the delivery step. Moreover, the manufacturing procedure includes both man-made and automatic work. Initially the best sorts of fruits are harvesting and selecting. Consequently, receiving belt as well as washing and sorting of apples stage is required. As the cleaning process finishes, apples through the grinder are cutting into several pieces and sending into the pressing machine. Cetrifuger of this machine separates water from apple concentration and in the following step aroma added to concentration. As regards the following stages, the filtration process is the key before pasteurization and it occurs at 80 degrees C. Then, the bottles are filling with the pasteurized juice and redirected into the packaging. Last but not least, the packaged products delivered by the means of transportation.
The process chart illustrates the production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apple
juice.

Overall
, it is obvious that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apple
juice production consists of several stages starting with harvesting and selecting of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apples
and ending up with the delivery step.
Moreover
, the manufacturing procedure includes both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
-made and automatic work.

Initially
the best sorts of fruits are harvesting and selecting.
Consequently
, receiving belt
as well
as washing and sorting of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apples
stage
is required
. As the cleaning process finishes,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apples
through the grinder are cutting into several pieces and sending into the pressing machine.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Cetrifuger
of this machine separates water from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apple
concentration and in the following step aroma
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to concentration.

As regards the following stages, the filtration process is the key
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
pasteurization and it occurs at 80 degrees C. Then, the bottles are filling with the pasteurized juice and redirected into the packaging. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, the packaged products delivered by the means of transportation.
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IELTS academic The diagram shows how apple juice is produced

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
155 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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