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School enrolment in the USA

School enrolment in the USA kg6kW
Introduce: The line graph gives the information about school enrolment in the USA between 1890 and 2001 Overview: -Over all, it’s clearly seen that students in grades 1-8 take the most enrolment in the USA -The line had a significant growth in 1890-1930 before having a fall down in 1930-1940. Subsequently, the student number increased dramatically to 33 in 1975 and fell down again. In the year after after 1990, the line climb to the highest value 36 Meanwhile, students in grades 9-12 and Colleges and Universities were the same in 1890. Both group nearly rise gradually and then are the same at 15 in 2001
Introduce: The line graph gives the information about school
Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolment' is British English.
enrolment
in the USA between 1890 and 2001

Overview:

-Over all, it’s
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that students in grades 1-8 take the most
Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolment' is British English.
enrolment
in the USA

-The line had a significant growth in 1890-1930
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
having a fall down in 1930-1940.
Subsequently
, the student number increased
dramatically
to 33 in 1975 and fell down again. In the year
Possible typo: you repeated a word
after after
1990, the line climb to the highest value 36

Meanwhile, students in grades 9-12 and Colleges and Universities were the same in 1890. Both group
nearly
rise
gradually
and then are the same at 15 in 2001
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IELTS academic School enrolment in the USA

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
105 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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