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The bar chart illustrates the amout in dollars from global games sales of 4 different categories namely moblie phone, online, console and handheld over a 6-year period, starting from 2000.

The bar chart illustrates the amout in dollars from global games sales of 4 different categories namely moblie phone, online, console and handheld over a 6-year period, starting from 2000. gWYpD
The bar chart illustrates the amount in dollars from global games sales of 4 different categories namely mobile phone, online, console and handheld over a 6-year period, starting from 2000. Overall, the sales of handheld games took the lead over the period give, while the figure for Console dropped slightly. In addition, the turnover In 2000, the worldwide turnover of handheld games was the biggest figure with approximately 12$ billion, and far higher than the console with 6$ billion. Meanwhile, the global sales of mobile games and online games did not appear until 2002, these figure rise noticeably to nearly 1$ billion. In the next 3 years, there was a significant increase in sales of mobile games and online games by over 3$ billion and roughly 2, 9$ billion respectively. Similarly, the turnover of handheld rose slightly to 15$ billion, whereas the figure for console dipped minimally to 4$ billion. In 2006, the global sales of handheld games increased markedly to nearly 18$ billion, 2 times as high as online games in second place with 9$ billion and mobile phone games in the third place with 7$ billion. In contrast, global sales of console games decreased remarkably to the lowest of 4 categories at around 2, 5$ billion.
The bar chart illustrates the amount in dollars from
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global
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games
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sales
of 4
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
categories
namely
mobile phone,
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online
,
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console
and handheld over a 6-year period, starting from 2000.

Overall
, the
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sales
of handheld
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
took the lead over the period give, while the
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figure
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Console
dropped
slightly
.
In addition
, the turnover In 2000, the worldwide turnover of handheld
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games
was the biggest
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figure
with approximately
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$12".
12$
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billion
, and far higher than the
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console
with
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$6".
6$
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
. Meanwhile, the
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global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of mobile
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games
and
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online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
did not appear until 2002, these
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figure
rise
noticeably
to
nearly
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$1".
1$
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
. In the
next
3 years, there was a significant increase in
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sales
of mobile
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games
and
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online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
by over
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$3".
3$
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billion
and roughly 2,
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$9".
9$
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
respectively
.
Similarly
, the turnover of handheld rose
slightly
to
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$15".
15$
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
, whereas the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for
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console
dipped
minimally
to
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$4".
4$
billion.

In 2006, the
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global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of handheld
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
increased
markedly
to
nearly
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$18".
18$
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billion
, 2 times as high as
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online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
in second place with
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$9".
9$
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billion
and mobile phone
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games
in the third place with
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$7".
7$
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billion
.
In contrast
,
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global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of
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console
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
decreased
remarkably
to the lowest of 4 categories at around 2,
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$5".
5$
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
.
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IELTS academic The bar chart illustrates the amout in dollars from global games sales of 4 different categories namely moblie phone, online, console and handheld over a 6-year period, starting from 2000.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
208 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 6.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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