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The bar chart illustrates the 7 distinct types of works

The bar chart illustrates the 7 distinct types of works nd6An
The bar chart illustrates the 7 distinct types of works (going to pubs or discos, watching television, shopping, doing homework, doing sport, watching DVDS, bowling) performed by youngsters for 7 years starting from the year 2002 and the activities that was performed were measured in the hours per week. Overall, it is clearly seen that watching tv was the highest performed activity by teenagers in all mentioned years, while bowling has taken the last place. Furthermore, it has mentioned the significant raise and drop of all the activities performed in the given years. Watching television by the young group initially started with just exactly 25 hours per week in the year 2002, which has steadily raised to nearly 38 hours per week in the year 2007. In contrast, the activity, bowling started with about 4 hours per week in the year 2002 then has declined to nearly 1 hour per week in the year 2007. Moreover, it was recorded as the least performed function by the young people. In the other hand, there are two activities ( doing homework and doing sport) which gradually dropped from the year 2002 to 2007. but it is observed that teenagers interest towards shopping and going to pubs or discos has increased steadily in the specified 7 years and the activity of watching DVD's was fluctuating.
The bar chart illustrates the 7 distinct types of works (going to pubs or discos, watching television, shopping,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
homework,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
sport, watching
Possible spelling mistake found.
DVDS
, bowling)
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performed
by youngsters for 7 years starting from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2002 and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
that was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performed
were measured
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
per week.

Overall
, it is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that watching
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
was the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
in all mentioned years, while bowling has taken the last place.
Furthermore
, it has mentioned the significant raise and drop of all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performed
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
years.

Watching television by the young group
initially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
exactly 25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2002, which has
steadily
raised to
nearly
38
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2007.
In contrast
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
, bowling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
with about 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2002 then has declined to
nearly
1
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hour
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2007.
Moreover
, it
was recorded
as the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performed
function by the young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In the other hand, there are two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
homework and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
sport) which
gradually
dropped from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2002 to 2007.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
but
it
is observed
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
interest towards shopping and going to pubs or discos has increased
steadily
in the specified 7 years and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
of watching DVD's was fluctuating.

IELTS academic The bar chart illustrates the 7 distinct types of works

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
222 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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