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The parts are slow so slow number of students who chose 13th University subject in 2005 summer right information thing and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The parts are slow so slow number of students who chose 13th University subject in 2005 summer right information thing and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant LGrk6
The bar graph compares the number of students who were selected for various university subjects in 2005. The chart classifies the students according to the subject and divides these subject groups into males and females. Is it obvious from the chart that social sciences has been chosen the highest in all subjects by students. By contrast, the Arts had fewer students involved. Remarkably, humanities had as many males as females studied this subject. Sciences was one of the most popular choices for most students in 2005 with approximately 22, 000 people which was double females. There were nearly 19, 000 men joining mathematics. Strikingly, this number went up four-fold between men and women. Furthermore, the figures of male students picked literature and law were also higher than females, at about 15, 000 and 10, 000 respectively. On the other hand, females tend to choose less technical subjects such as: social sciences, languages, arts, while the least favorite choice was in mathematics. The interesting point is that, languages was the subject had the biggest difference between males and females with around over 15, 000. Social sciences was the most attractive to women with around 24, 000 students and the Arts was almost 10, 000 people.
The bar graph compares the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
were selected
for various university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in 2005. The chart classifies the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
according to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
and divides these
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subject
groups into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
and females.

Is it obvious from the chart that social sciences has
been chosen
the highest in all
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subjects
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. By contrast, the Arts had fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
involved.
Remarkably
, humanities had as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
studied this subject.

Sciences was one of the most popular choices for most
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students
in 2005 with approximately 22, 000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
which was double
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females
. There were
nearly
19, 000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
joining mathematics.
Strikingly
, this number went up four-fold between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women.
Furthermore
, the figures of male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
picked literature and law were
also
higher than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
, at about 15, 000 and 10, 000
respectively
.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
tend to choose less technical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as: social sciences, languages, arts, while the least favorite choice was in mathematics. The interesting point is that,
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
languages


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
was
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
had the biggest difference between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
with around over 15, 000. Social sciences was the most attractive to women with around 24, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and the Arts was almost 10, 000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
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IELTS academic The parts are slow so slow number of students who chose 13th University subject in 2005 summer right information thing and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
204 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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