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the bar chart illustrated

the bar chart illustrated PkjRE
As it illustrated by the graph, the variety proportion of social networking sites used by people who lived in Canada in 2014 and 2015. Overall, in both 2014 and 2015 Canadian citizens prefer to use only one site, whereas the percentage of who used the five sites was around zero. As per bar chart, it is clear that, in 2014 the rate of two sites, one sites and no site users was 23%, 36% and 22%, respectively. It had only a slight rose in two sites rate. In apposite the proportion of site purchasers fell to under 30%(28%). By contrast, the other reaming groups experienced under 20% in this case. Using three sites in social networking was not common in Canada. People want to use one site to do their work and it followed by four and five sites. But all three data were rose in comparison with the prior year.
As it illustrated by the graph, the variety proportion of social networking
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sites
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in Canada in 2014 and 2015.

Overall
, in both 2014 and 2015 Canadian citizens prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
site
, whereas the percentage of who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
was around zero.

As per bar chart, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that, in 2014 the rate of two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
, one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
and no
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site
users was 23%, 36% and 22%,
respectively
. It had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a slight rose in two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
rate. In apposite the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
site
purchasers fell to under 30%(28%).

By contrast, the other reaming groups experienced under 20%
in this case
. Using three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
in social networking was not common in Canada.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
site
to do their work and it followed by four and five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
all three data were rose
in comparison
with the prior year.
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IELTS academic the bar chart illustrated

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
151 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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