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The table provides information about the global market share of the notebook computer factories over a period of two successive years, 2006 and 2007.

The table provides information about the global market share of the notebook computer factories over a period of two successive years, 2006 and 2007. R0omP
The table provides information about the global market share of the notebook computer factories over the period of two successive years, 2006 and 2007. As it can be seen, of all the other companies the market leader is HP, while the Fujitsu-Siemens brand is less popular among the people over the period of two consecutive years. In both years, HP had a special popularity for the consumers, selling 31. 4% of the notebook computers in 2006, while it is slightly more (34%) in 2007. Additionally, Dell as the second popular brand sold 16. 6% of market share in 2006, while this value increased significantly to 20. 2% in 2007. In contrast, Acer saw its share decline from 11. 6% to 10. 7%. Lenovo as another computer manufacture, follows as the same pattern as obtained for Acer, in which the market share fell from 6. 6% to 6. 2%. Furthermore, Toshiba’s share rose to 6. 2% in 2006to 7. 3% in 2007 but siemens’ share decreased from 4. 8% to 2. 3% over the period. Meanwhile, the shares of the other companies is almost a third in 2006, while it declined to less than a fifth in 2007.
The table provides information about the global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
of the notebook computer factories over the period of two successive years, 2006 and 2007.

As it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, of all the other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
leader is HP, while the Fujitsu-Siemens brand is less popular among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
over the period of two consecutive years.

In both years, HP had a special popularity for the consumers, selling 31. 4% of the notebook computers in 2006, while it is
slightly
more (34%) in 2007.
Additionally
, Dell as the second popular brand sold 16. 6% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
in 2006, while this value increased
significantly
to 20. 2% in 2007.
In contrast
, Acer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
decline from 11. 6% to 10. 7%. Lenovo as another computer manufacture, follows as the same pattern as obtained for Acer, in which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
fell from 6. 6% to 6. 2%.

Furthermore
, Toshiba’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
rose to 6. 2% in 2006to 7. 3% in 2007
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
siemens’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
decreased from 4. 8% to 2. 3% over the period. Meanwhile, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shares
of the other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
is almost a third in 2006, while it declined to less than a fifth in 2007.

IELTS academic The table provides information about the global market share of the notebook computer factories over a period of two successive years, 2006 and 2007.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
197 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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