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The graph depicts the number of train rider

The graph depicts the number of train rider dpjD7
The line graph at the top depicts the number of train rider from 2000 to 2009 while the line graph below compares the proportion of trains that run on time to the target. Overall, it is clear that the number of people who use train remain relatively stable throughout the period. In addition, the percentage of trains that run punctually falls below the target most of the time. The number of people using train rose moderately from around 35 million to around 45 million passengers. In the following years, the figure fell slightly from 45 million to 40 million users then rose to just above 40 million users Regarding the second line graph, the proportion of trains running on time rose considerably from 92% to 96% in 2004, rose above the target line. The figure then fell by 5% in 2006, which makes it below the target. The proportion of trains running on time rose above the target line again in 2008 at 97% then remain steady until the end of the period.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
graph at the top depicts the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
rider from 2000 to 2009 while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
graph below compares the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
that run on time to the target.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
remain
relatively
stable throughout the period.
In addition
, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
that run
punctually
falls below the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
target
most of the time.

The number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rose
moderately
from around 35
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
to around 45
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
passengers. In the following years, the figure fell
slightly
from 45
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
to 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
users then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rose
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
users


Regarding the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
graph, the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
running on time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rose
considerably
from 92% to 96% in 2004,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rose
above the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
target
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
. The figure then fell by 5% in 2006, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it below the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
target
. The proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
running on time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rose
above the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
target
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
again in 2008 at 97% then remain steady until the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period.
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IELTS academic The graph depicts the number of train rider

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
173 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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