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The bar chart illustrate the rate of regular consumption of fast food by people in the USA through the years 2003, 2006 and 2013.

The bar chart illustrate the rate of regular consumption of fast food by people in the USA through the years 2003, 2006 and 2013. Rww5V
The bar chart illustrate the rate of regular consumption of fast food by people in the USA through the years 2003, 2006 and 2013. Overall, while the proportion of people used fast food in once a week and once or twice month was highest, the figure for people used one in every day was lowest. From 2003 to 2006, at 25% and over 30% of total people ate at fast food restaurants in once a week and once or twice a month, approximately doubling the rate of people in two groups which is several time a week and a few times a years, under 20% and 15% respectively. Meanwhile, the figure for people chose takeaway stores in every day and never had a similar rate, under 5%. In 2013, a vast majority of people, about 33%, chose unhealthy food restaurants at once or twice a month, compare to the remaining frequency of use. In contrast, the rate of people in several times a week and a few times a year groups were similarly sharp decrease, about 15%. Finally, the percentage of people in a daily basis day and never group remained unchanged, under 5%.
The bar chart illustrate the
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rate
of regular consumption of
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fast
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food
by
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people
in the USA through the years 2003, 2006 and 2013.

Overall
, while the proportion of
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
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food
in
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once
a
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week
and
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once
or twice month was highest, the figure for
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
one
Did you mean "in everyday"?
in every day
was lowest.

From 2003 to 2006, at 25% and over 30% of total
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people
ate at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
restaurants in
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once
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
and
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once
or twice a month, approximately doubling the
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rate
of
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people
in two groups which is several
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time
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
and a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a year" or simply "years"?
a years
, under 20% and 15%
respectively
. Meanwhile, the figure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
chose takeaway stores in every day and never had a similar
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rate
, under 5%.

In 2013, a vast majority of
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people
, about 33%, chose unhealthy
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food
restaurants at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
once
or twice a month, compare to the remaining frequency of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
In contrast
, the
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rate
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
and a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
a year groups were
similarly
sharp decrease, about 15%.
Finally
, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in a daily basis day and never group remained unchanged, under 5%.
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IELTS academic The bar chart illustrate the rate of regular consumption of fast food by people in the USA through the years 2003, 2006 and 2013.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
194 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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