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The bar chart given below gives information about one country‘s exports

The bar chart given below gives information about one country‘s exports awQdG
The bar chart given is illustrates one country send out various products in years 2015 and 2016. And the table gives information about how percentage wise change in each category in 2016 with compare to 2015. Overall, petroleum products were highest exports during both years and textiles products were lowest. First of all, petroleum products were exported 61% in year 2015, which is 3% rose in 2016 and goes to 64%. Secondly, engineered goods send out nearly 55% in 2015, which is seen 8. 5% growth and 63% in 2016. In addition, gems and jewellery products exports above 45%, which fell 5. 18% in 2016 and rest to above 40%. Besides this, agricultural products had not much changed, only 0. 81% growth in between these two years. It was 31% and 31. 81% respectively. Lastly, textiles products were highest rise among all products between these 2 years; difference is seen 15. 24%. Where in 2015 it was 25% and in year 2016 it was above 30%.
The bar chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
is illustrates one country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
out various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in years 2015 and 2016. And the table gives information about how percentage wise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in each category in 2016 with compare to 2015.

Overall
, petroleum
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products
were
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
exports during both years and textiles
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
were lowest.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, petroleum
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products
were exported
61% in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2015, which is 3% rose in 2016 and goes to 64%.
Secondly
, engineered
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
out
nearly
55% in 2015, which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
8. 5% growth and 63% in 2016.
In addition
, gems and
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
exports above 45%, which fell 5. 18% in 2016 and rest to above 40%.
Besides
this, agricultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
had not much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
0. 81% growth in between these two years. It was 31% and 31. 81%
respectively
.
Lastly
, textiles
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
were
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
rise among all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
between these 2 years; difference is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
15. 24%. Where in 2015 it was 25% and in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2016 it was above 30%.
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IELTS academic The bar chart given below gives information about one country‘s exports

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
166 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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