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The bar chart compares the access to facilities such as refrigerator, electricity, and water among three categories of families based on their economic condition in Ghana over the period of seven years.

The bar chart compares the access to facilities such as refrigerator, electricity, and water among three categories of families based on their economic condition in Ghana over the period of seven years. As far as very destitute families are concerned, a negligible percentage of them had access to fridge in 1991/92 and it remained the same in 1998/99. Access to electrical energy declined by 14% over the given period while water access was given to over a half of such families in 1991/92, and it saw a small rise after seven years. When it comes to poverty-stricken families, a gradual drop can be seen in percentage of citizens having access to fridge. A similar trend can be observed in needy households’ access to electric power which fell from 57% to 48%. Moreover, there was no change in percentage of households receiving water facility, and the figure was seven in ten. In terms of wealthy people, there was an increasing trend in proportion of citizens who used these amenities.
The bar chart compares the
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access
to facilities such as refrigerator, electricity, and water among three categories of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
based on their economic condition in Ghana over the period of seven years.

As far as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
destitute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are concerned
, a negligible percentage of them had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to fridge in 1991/
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
92 and
it remained the same in 1998/99.
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Access
to electrical energy declined by 14% over the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period while water
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access
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to over a half of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
in 1991/92, and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
rise after seven years.

When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to poverty-stricken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
, a gradual drop can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in percentage of citizens having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to fridge. A similar trend can
be observed
in needy households’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to electric power which fell from 57% to 48%.
Moreover
, there was no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in percentage of households receiving water facility, and the figure was seven in ten.

In terms of wealthy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, there was an increasing trend in proportion of citizens who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
these amenities.
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IELTS academic The bar chart compares the access to facilities such as refrigerator, electricity, and water among three categories of families based on their economic condition in Ghana over the period of seven years.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
168 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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