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The bar chart compares how much earns by dollars various type of digital games in the global trading over the 6 year period.

The bar chart compares how much earns by dollars various type of digital games in the global trading over the 6 year period. kL56K
The bar chart compares how much earns by dollars various type of digital games in the global trading over the 6 year period. Overall, type of handled games were popular than other digital games during the period. however, Decreased of the figure for console lead to unpopular in global sales. while the figures for mobile phone and online game sales saw a significant rise respectively. In 2000, trading of handled games had a significant increase approximately by 6 billions dollar between 2000 and 2006. While, in 2000, the figure for console started to decreased from about 6 billons dollar. After that its trend continued until 2006 by around 3 billions of dollars. However for online games and mobile phone games trading no figures were given until 2001. Trading of mobile phone games significantly increased about from 1 to 7 billions of dollars between 2001 and 2006. While online games begun to become popular, with sales reached peaks of under 9 billionsn dollars over the 5 year period
The bar chart compares how much earns by
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dollars
various type of digital games

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
the global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trading
over the
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "6-year"
6 year
period.

Overall
, type of handled
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games
were
Use "(popular)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
popular
than other digital
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games
during the period.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
,

Decreased of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for console lead to unpopular in global sales.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
while
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
for mobile
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
phone


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
online game sales
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a significant rise
respectively
.

In 2000,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trading
of handled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
had a significant increase approximately by 6 billions
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dollar
between 2000 and 2006.

While, in 2000, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for console
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to decreased from about 6
Possible spelling mistake found.
billons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollar
. After that its trend continued
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
until


2006 by around
Use a singular form of the numeral here: "3 billion".
3 billions of
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dollars
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
for online
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games
and mobile phone
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games
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trading
no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
until
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
2001. Trading
of mobile phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
significantly
increased about from 1 to
Use a singular form of the numeral here: "7 billion".
7 billions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
between 2001 and 2006.

While online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
begun to become popular, with sales reached peaks of under 9
Possible spelling mistake found.
billionsn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
over the
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "5-year"
5 year
period
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IELTS academic The bar chart compares how much earns by dollars various type of digital games in the global trading over the 6 year period.

Academic
  American English
10 paragraphs
166 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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