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The bar chart compares how many hours of leisure time in a typical week in 1998 and 1999. Information is devided into gender and employment status.

The bar chart compares how many hours of leisure time in a typical week in 1998 and 1999. Information is devided into gender and employment status. Nw0a0
The bar chart compares how many hours of leisure time in a typical week in 1998 and 1999. Information is devided into gender and employment status. Overall, the male enjoyed more leisure time than the counterpart. It is obvious that the employed full time people has has less time for leisure activities than unemployed and retired people. According to unemployed and retired people who had the longest period of leisure activities for both gender, but men had a little longer than women ( over 80 hours and 78 hours, respectively). On the other hand, the shortest figure was recorded for employed full time people, men had under 50 hours per week for leisure activities compared to 38 hours of women. By contrast, there is no data for male in part time worked and household chores. The amount of leisure time for female in part time job and housevives was over 40 hours and 50 hours in a week, respectively. both was also higher than the full time employed women.
The bar chart compares how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in a typical week in 1998 and 1999. Information is
Possible spelling mistake found.
devided
into gender and employment status.

Overall
, the male enjoyed more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
than the counterpart. It is obvious that the employed full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
has less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
activities than unemployed and retired
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

According to unemployed and retired
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who had the longest period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
activities for both gender,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
longer than women
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
over 80
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
and 78
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
,
respectively
).
On the other hand
, the shortest figure
was recorded
for employed full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
had under 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
per week for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
activities compared to 38
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of women.

By contrast, there is no data for male in part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
worked and household chores. The amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for female in part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
job and
Possible spelling mistake found.
housevives
was over 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
and 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
in a week,
respectively
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
both
was
also
higher than the full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
employed women.
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IELTS academic The bar chart compares how many hours of leisure time in a typical week in 1998 and 1999. Information is devided into gender and employment status.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
169 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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