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the bar chart below shows the top ten countries for production and consumption of electricity in 2014

the bar chart below shows the top ten countries for production and consumption of electricity in 2014 QpBL
The given bar graph illustrats the top ten countries manufacturing and utilization of electricity in 2014. Manufacturing and utilization both are in billions kwh and on vertical line there are 10 all are rank wise. overall it can be seen that rather then 9 countries china has vast production and similar utilization of electricity there is minor diffrence in last six country but usa also manufacturing and utilization not in big ammount as china but in decent amount after usa russia has same amount of manufacturing and utilization. But next seven countries in list donot produce as much as top three. To summarise, it can be stated that this data is not published by any authority and not verifided. It also vary to origanl data.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graph
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illustrats
the top ten countries
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manufacturing
and
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utilization
of electricity in 2014.
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Manufacturing
and
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utilization
both are in billions
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kwh


and on vertical line there are 10
Possible agreement error. The noun 'all' seems to be countable, so consider using: "alls".
all
are rank wise.

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overall
it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
rather
Did you mean "than"? 'than' is used for comparisons, 'then' is an expression of time.
then
9 countries
Capitalize this word if you mean the country, not white porcelain.
china
has vast production and similar
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utilization
of electricity there is minor
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diffrence
in last six country

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but
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usa
also
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manufacturing
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
utilization
not in
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big
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ammount
as china
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in decent amount after
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usa
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russia
has same
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "amounted".
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manufacturing
and

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
utilization
.
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But
next
seven countries in list
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donot
produce as much as top three.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, it can
be stated
that this data is not published by any authority and not
Possible spelling mistake found.
verifided
. It
also
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vary
to
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origanl
data.
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IELTS academic the bar chart below shows the top ten countries for production and consumption of electricity in 2014

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
125 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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