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Academic writing task Describe tables. maps, diagrams, graphs, etc

Academic writing task Describe tables. maps, diagrams, graphs, etc exOB
The bar charts represent the percentages of reasons for study according to the age of students and its - their employer support (by different ages groups). Charts include 5 age groups: under 26, 26-29, 30-39, 40-49, and over 49 years old. The data shows us the main reason for studying under 26 years old is the further career opportunities and this percentage is falling down with getting older of each age group. Oppositely, the vast majority of students over 49 years old decide to study due to their own preferences and out of interests. Also, the biggest support from employers gets two groups - under 26 and over 49 years old. 80% of students under 26 decide to enroll in the university for interest, and it's gradually lowering from group to group and over 49 years old this percentage is around 20%. Oppositely, only 20% of students under 26 decide to study due to their interest. This number gradually rises and reaches a peak in 70% of students over 49 years old. In the age group from 40 to 49 years old, the number of students was divided into equal reasons. Students have the lowest level of support from an employer in the group from 30 up to 39 years old and it is near 40%. Students under 26 years old are getting the highest level of support and it is around 60%.
The bar charts represent the percentages of reasons for study according to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and its
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
their employer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
(by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups)
. Charts include 5
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
: under 26, 26-29, 30-39, 40-49, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
49 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.

The data
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
us the main reason for studying under 26 years
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old
is the
further
career opportunities and this percentage is falling down with getting older of each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
.
Oppositely
, the vast majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
49 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
decide to study due to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
preferences and out of interests.
Also
, the biggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
from employers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
under 26 and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
49 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old. 80%
of
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students
under 26 decide to enroll in the university for interest, and it's
gradually
lowering from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
49 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
this percentage is around 20%.
Oppositely
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
20% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
under 26 decide to study due to their interest. This number
gradually
rises and reaches a peak in 70% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
49 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
from 40 to 49 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
was divided
into equal reasons.

Students have the lowest level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
from an employer in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
from 30 up to 39 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
and it is near 40%.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
under 26 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
are getting the highest level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
and it is around 60%.
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IELTS academic Academic writing task Describe tables. maps, diagrams, graphs, etc

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
233 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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