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The bar chart below shows the popularity of well-known Instagram accounts in 2011 and 2021.

The bar chart below shows the popularity of well-known Instagram accounts in 2011 and 2021. LLjOV
The change in number of followers in the most popular Instagram account is demonstrated by the chart in 2018 and 2021. In overall, the amount of Instagram follower had significant soar in 2021 in comparison with comparison with 2018. Firstly Selena Gomez who has approximately 120 million followers in 2018 had huge increase in number of followers in 2021. The rock furthur who has fewer number of followers between other account that we consider, had considerable soar in follower, more than double. The amount of those who follow Ariana Grande and Kylie Jenner, moreover, is 250 million in 2021. However, this rate was roughly 100 million in 2018. Secondly, Cristiano Ronaldo who has highest rate between all influencer in 2021 had near to one_third advocators on Instagram in 2018. The amount of Instagram follower for rock, Ariana Grande, Kylie Jenner is on same rate, 250 million. Selena Gomez who had more follower compared to other influencers in 2018, has fewer than 250 million and less than other celebrities. All of the account had the roughly double increase in comparison with 2018.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in number of
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followers
in the most popular Instagram account
is demonstrated
by the chart in 2018 and 2021. In
overall
, the amount of Instagram
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follower
had significant soar in 2021 in
This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only "comparison with".
comparison with comparison with
2018.

Firstly
Selena Gomez
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who
has approximately 120
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million
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followers
in 2018 had huge increase in number of
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followers
in 2021. The rock
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furthur
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who
has fewer number of
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followers
between other account that we consider, had considerable soar in
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follower
, more than double. The amount of those
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who
follow Ariana Grande and Kylie Jenner,
moreover
, is 250
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million
in 2021.
However
, this rate was roughly 100
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million
in 2018.

Secondly
, Cristiano Ronaldo
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who
has
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highest
rate between all influencer in 2021 had near to
In standard English, a word does not contain an underscore character (_). Make sure that the word 'one _ third' is correct.
one_third
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advocators
on Instagram in 2018. The amount of Instagram
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follower
for rock, Ariana Grande, Kylie Jenner is on same rate, 250
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million
. Selena Gomez
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who
had more
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follower
compared to other influencers in 2018, has fewer than 250
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million
and less than other celebrities.
Consider using "all the".
All of the
account had the roughly double increase
in comparison
with 2018.
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IELTS academic The bar chart below shows the popularity of well-known Instagram accounts in 2011 and 2021.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
181 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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