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The bar chart below shows the percentage of people who used internet for different purposes in 2007 and 2009.

The bar chart below shows the percentage of people who used internet for different purposes in 2007 and 2009. 7PDMk
The bar chart illustrates the information about the proportion of individuals who used internet for various purposes in the years 2007 and 2009. It is clearly seen that, in 2007, merely above 40% individuals used internet by shopping as well when masses used internet for banking which percentage was about 35% then books were being utilized internet by just balow 40% humans. Moreover, with regards to chatting, the proportion of masses was about 35% as well only 30% people were being used internet by learning, and approximately 15% mankind for video games, whereas for tv they used internet by 10%. Analysing it further, in 2009, the percentage of people was merely above 50% for shopping, being higher than 2007 's percentage by approximately 12% after that in the same year people used internet with the highest percentage for banking than the booking. Futhermore, proportion of people almost remained relatively same for chatting and learning by 15% along with same percentage of masses for video games and tv was 20%. Overall, at the beginning of the year less percentage of human used internet for tv.
The bar chart illustrates the information about the proportion of individuals who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
internet for various purposes in the years 2007 and 2009.

It is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that, in 2007,
merely
above 40% individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
internet by shopping
as well
when masses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
internet for banking which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
was about 35% then books were
being utilized
internet by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
Possible spelling mistake found.
balow
40% humans.
Moreover
,
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
with regards to
chatting, the proportion of masses was about 35%
as well
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
30%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
internet by learning, and approximately 15% mankind for video games, whereas for
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
internet by 10%.

Possible spelling mistake. 'Analysing' is British English.
Analysing
it
further
, in 2009, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
was
merely
above 50% for shopping, being higher than 2007 's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
by approximately 12% after that in the same year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
internet with the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
for banking than the booking.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Futhermore
, proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
almost remained
relatively
same for chatting and learning by 15% along with same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of masses for video games and
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
was 20%.

Overall
, at the beginning of the year less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
internet for
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
.
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IELTS academic The bar chart below shows the percentage of people who used internet for different purposes in 2007 and 2009.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
184 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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