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the bar chart below shows the percentage of australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Following bar chart illustrates the number of populations of Australia of different age groups who did physical activity daily in 2010. Overall, we observe that the highest percentage of males and females who did physical activity daily were between the age group of 15 to 24 and 45 to 54 respectively. In 2010, 53. 3% of females between the age group of 45 to 54 years did regular exercise. Furthermore, the second highest age group between 55 to 64 were parallel which was 53%. Whereas, 47. 1% of females between 65 and over showed the lowest percentage among all the age groups. Among males, the most active age group who did physical exercise daily and depicts the highest percentage which was 52. 8% and was between 15 to 24 years. Moreover, Age group between 65 and over showed similar pattern as compared to females which was 46. 7%. However, only 39. 5% of men between the age group of 35 to 44 years did workout daily.
Following bar chart illustrates the number of populations of Australia of
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different
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age
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groups
who did physical activity
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daily
in 2010.
Overall
, we observe that the highest percentage of males and
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females
who did physical activity
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daily
were between the
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age
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group
of 15 to 24 and 45 to 54
respectively
.

In 2010, 53. 3% of
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females
between the
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age
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group
of 45 to 54 years did regular exercise.
Furthermore
, the second highest
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age
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group
After “between”, use “and”, not “to”.
between 55 to 64
were parallel which was 53%. Whereas, 47. 1% of
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females
between 65 and over
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showed
the lowest percentage among all the
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age
groups.

Among males, the most active
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age
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group
who did physical exercise
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daily
and depicts the highest percentage which was 52. 8% and was
After “between”, use “and”, not “to”.
between 15 to 24
years.
Moreover
,
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Age
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group
between 65 and over
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showed
similar pattern as compared to
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females
which was 46. 7%.
However
,
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only
39. 5% of
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men
between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of 35 to 44 years did workout
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daily
.
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IELTS academic the bar chart below shows the percentage of australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
166 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
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Task Achievement: 5.5
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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